0
Zonkeren Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Please help me with my gramma correction...
0 Really hope someone would help my with my gramma mistakes.. Just the most obvious.. Thank you in anticipation.. 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 I have 01 i 00 recently 02 i 00 read the article “Over 60 and overlooked” 01 i 00 in 02 i 00 The Economist, and it convinced me that we in the future most concentrate on the elderly people as a target group. Furthermore we have in recent years experienced a great demand for tailor-made travels, which particularly is from the elderly customers. 02 br
02 br
00 02 br
02 br
00 In industrialised countries, the over-60s account for 20 % of the population today, which is an increase compared to the 1950s where it was less than 12 %. The tendency is going up and by 2050 the proportion is expected to rise, on average, to a third. The up going tendency is due to medical advances and healthier living, which make it possible for the elderly to remain active longer after their retiring. 00 02 br
02 br
00 02 br
02 br
00 The elderly are not just getting older they have also a financial comfort. According to the United States Census Bureau, the poverty rate among Americans over 65 is falling. In 1960 it was on 35% but have now dropped to 10.2%. It is big change compared with a fall from 22% to 11.3% for the population as a whole. Most of the over 50 own their own houses and they account for half of all spending power in developed countries. So the elderly have money to spend which they do. 02 br
02 br
00 02 br
02 br
00 In the next few decades the large generation born on the 1950s and 1960 will grow old. It’s a generation with a different attitude to age and they are determinated to enjoy themselves. Consumption by the over 50s has over the past two decades increased three times as fast as that by the rest of the population. 02 br
02 br
00 02 br
02 br
00 To penetrate to the elderly people it would be a good idea to segment them according to their stages in their life. For examples do the interest depend on weather they are alone or have grandchildren. Furthermore it is important to take their health situation into condition. In Peregor-Travel we should therefore offer the elderly tailor-made travels direct to their life situation. It could be packages for older travellers and their grandchildren or travels for single people over a certain age. 00 02 br
02 br
00 02 br
02 br
00 An obvious way to get in contact with the older people is through Television. The over 50s make up the largest share of TV audiences. They spend 30-40 % more time in front of the screen than the rest of the public. But it isn’t unimportant how the commercials are made. There is no reason to characterize the elderly as something they not are. A picture of an older man building a sand pit with his grandchild is much better than pictures him learning the same child surfing. 02 br
02 br
00 0-
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 I have 01 i 00 recently 02 i 00 read the article “Over 60 and overlooked” 01 i 00 in 02 i 00 The Economist, and it convinced me that we in the future most concentrate on the elderly people as a target group. Furthermore we have in recent years experienced a great demand for tailor-made travels, which particularly is from the elderly customers. 02 br
02 br
00 02 br
02 br
00 In industrialised countries, the over-60s account for 20 % of the population today, which is an increase compared to the 1950s where it was less than 12 %. The tendency is going up and by 2050 the proportion is expected to rise, on average, to a third. The up going tendency is due to medical advances and healthier living, which make it possible for the elderly to remain active longer after their retiring. 00 02 br
02 br
00 02 br
02 br
00 The elderly are not just getting older they have also a financial comfort. According to the United States Census Bureau, the poverty rate among Americans over 65 is falling. In 1960 it was on 35% but have now dropped to 10.2%. It is big change compared with a fall from 22% to 11.3% for the population as a whole. Most of the over 50 own their own houses and they account for half of all spending power in developed countries. So the elderly have money to spend which they do. 02 br
02 br
00 02 br
02 br
00 In the next few decades the large generation born on the 1950s and 1960 will grow old. It’s a generation with a different attitude to age and they are determinated to enjoy themselves. Consumption by the over 50s has over the past two decades increased three times as fast as that by the rest of the population. 02 br
02 br
00 02 br
02 br
00 To penetrate to the elderly people it would be a good idea to segment them according to their stages in their life. For examples do the interest depend on weather they are alone or have grandchildren. Furthermore it is important to take their health situation into condition. In Peregor-Travel we should therefore offer the elderly tailor-made travels direct to their life situation. It could be packages for older travellers and their grandchildren or travels for single people over a certain age. 00 02 br
02 br
00 02 br
02 br
00 An obvious way to get in contact with the older people is through Television. The over 50s make up the largest share of TV audiences. They spend 30-40 % more time in front of the screen than the rest of the public. But it isn’t unimportant how the commercials are made. There is no reason to characterize the elderly as something they not are. A picture of an older man building a sand pit with his grandchild is much better than pictures him learning the same child surfing. 02 br
02 br
00 0-
Top answer
0 Hi Zonkeren, 02 br 02 br 00 This looks like a good article! I have tidied it up a little, as below. The main grammatical point I think is that travel is usually used in the singular when referring to the options offered by a company.
- 0 Hi Zonkeren, 02 br 02 br 00 This looks like a good article!
- I have tidied it up a little, as below.
- The main grammatical point I think is that travel is usually used in the singular when referring to the options offered by a company.
- 02 br 02 br 00 Best of luck, 02 br 02 br 00 Nick 02 br 02 br 00 02 br 02 br 00 I have 01 i 00 recently 02 i 00 read the article “Over 60 and overlooked” 01 i 00 in 02 i 00 The Economist, and it convinced me that in the future we 01 b 00 must 02 b 00 concentrate on the elderly as a target group.
- 02 br 02 br 00 In industrialised countries, the over-60s 01 b 00 today account for 02 b 00 20 % of the population, which is an increase compared to the 1950s 01 b 00 when 02 b 00 it was less than 12 %.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
2 Answers
0
0 Hi Zonkeren, 02 br
02 br
00 This looks like a good article! I have tidied it up a little, as below. The main grammatical point I think is that travel is usually used in the singular when referring to the options offered by a company. "Travels" is used to refer to more than one trip undertaken by the same person, or persons - eg "the travels of Marco Polo". 02 br
02 br
02 br
00 This looks like a good article! I have tidied it up a little, as below. The main grammatical point I think is that travel is usually used in the singular when referring to the options offered by a company. "Travels" is used to refer to more than one trip undertaken by the same person, or persons - eg "the travels of Marco Polo". 02 br
02 br
00
Related Questions