Please help me with my essay. Thank you very much.

Topic: Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

My essay:

There are a belief among some people that university education helps graduates get better jobs. However, others believe it provides wider benefits for both individuals and society. In this essay, I would analyze both views of this topic before deciding which view is true and why.

Firstly, the most significant aim of university education obviously is increasing the chance of getting better jobs for graduates. This is why attending a university is considered as the fastest as well as shortest way to succeed by a large number of people. Apparently when we take courses at university, we will be taught a lot of things which will enlarge our chance of succeeding. These knowledge are the basics of our future career.

However, the benefits of university education are more than just that first and for most one. Going to a university creates a life far from home for many people. It also means a more independent life, especially in financial aspect. Most of people must learn how to pay the tuition and control as well as arrange their lives by themselves. Thanks to all those things, teenagers will learn how to become and act like adults. Moreover, graduates will play important roles in the society, contribute to create and develop a better community using knowledge from university. Graduates aare educated labour forces who are responsible for how the society will grow and what it will become.

In short, I think beside the main aim of university education, there are a much wider benefits of it for both individuals and society. Education coming from university means much more than just helping people get better jobs. If we choose to promote this kind of education and do it correctly will ensure a better future, both for individuals and society.