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Maihue Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please Help Me With My Essay - IELTS Task 2 (02/07)

Writing Task 2 – Test 1 - Academic Writing for IELTS (Sam McCarter)

There has been an increase in the number of highly-trained specialists who move from poor countries to rich countries for fulfilling occupations in particular areas such as engineering, computing and medicine. While some people believe that wealthy nations can exploit from the poor ones by encouraging this transference, others consider it as a natural flow of global workforce distribution. This essay, supporting the second statement, will discuss the reasons for why qualified workers of these fields have a tendency to seek jobs outside their home countries.

To begin with, because specialist studies require standard conditions and sufficient amount of expenses to be conducted, the lack of technology and resources in poor countries can be an impediment to the working progress. That circumstances compels experts to come to places which have the potentials to encourage their activities. Moving to developed countries helps professionals in these areas get access to necessary types of support to both pursue knowledge and skills improvement and advance their career. Such assistance may appear in the forms of investment, funding, facilities, materials and etc. For example, well-equipped laboratories with considerable expenses are vital for medical research to efficiently promote its aims and avoid possible mistakes.

Another explanation for the migration of qualified human resources lies in the favorable working environment that their targeted destinations could offer. Most developed countries have formulated effective strategies to attract skilled or talent people into their labor markets. Strong financial resources are a good available basis for companies or offices in these countries to offer high salaries, fair treatment policies and extra rewards to their employees. Simultaneously, they also pay attention to creating an open, cooperative atmosphere among the colleagues and managers. Therefore, occupants not only have the ideal conditions to do their jobs but they are also given credit and recognized for their contributions.

In conclusion, migration of professionals in specialist areas is inevitable due to the requirements and development trend of these fields and the personal pursuits of the workers. Measures such as providing opportunities for training and career advancement need to be adopted to encourage and retain qualified specialists to work in their original countries.

(356 words)

  

Top answer

I have highlighted the awkward, unnatural, or ungrammatical expressions. You are trying to write at a high level, but your lack of experience in native English makes a poor essay. It is better to write using words you know very well.

  • I have highlighted the awkward, unnatural, or ungrammatical expressions.
  • You are trying to write at a high level, but your lack of experience in native English makes a poor essay.
  • It is better to write using words you know very well.
  • There has been an increase in the number of highly-trained specialists who move from poor countries to rich countries to get jobs for fulfilling occupations (unnatural expression) in particular areas such as engineering, computing and medicine.
  • While some people believe that wealthy nations can exploit from the poor ones by encouraging this transference , (wrong word) others consider it as a natural flow of the global workforce .
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2 Answers
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I have highlighted the awkward, unnatural, or ungrammatical expressions. You are trying to write at a high level, but your lack of experience in native English makes a poor essay. It is better to write using words you know very well.


There has been an increase in the number of highly-trained specialists who move from poor countries to rich countries t

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In the future, please post you essays here in the Essays forum.

Thanks.

CJ

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