Please help me with my essay!
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer countries by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?
It is said that rich nations should help and assist poorer ones by providing them with food, medicine, and education. Although I partly agree with this, I believe that this help should stop at supplying basic stuff such as food and medicine and it is the responsibility of poorer nations’ governments to take care of their residents.
To begin with, wealthy nations should share the wealth among poorer ones by providing them with food and medicine. First, citizens in rich and poor countries are all human beings, so we can not stand and watch them living and dying in poverty without sympathy and compassion. Helping poorer nations is humanitarian and our task as well. Furthermore, impoverished countries are suffering poverty, illness, and illiteracy, while the rich ones are enjoying a high standard of living. If no measure is taken, the gap between rich and poor will increase dramatically. Poor countries will be poorer and rich ones will be richer. At some point, impoverished nations will become the slaves of wealthy ones. So sharing wealth is an essential way to prevent that bad future from happening.
Although sharing wealth is necessary, this should stop at providing poor countries with such basic needs as food, medicine, and education, and the government of poor nations has to be responsible for looking after their residents themselves. If poor nations are too dependent on aid, they will lose their enthusiasm and motivation to build their own countries. In addition, rich countries can take the advantage of sharing wealth to interfere deeply in the government of poor ones, then they turn them into their colonies.
To sum up, sharing the wealth among poorer countries has both positive and negative sides. This assistance should stop at providing food and medicine and the government of poor countries should be responsible for looking after their citizens themselves
Top answer
The task used the verb "required" so you need a stronger opening. The only possibility is an international agreement. Most of your writing is very good English, but I have suggested some higher-level words and phrases, and alternates to reduce the repetition.
- The task used the verb "required" so you need a stronger opening.
- The only possibility is an international agreement.
- Most of your writing is very good English, but I have suggested some higher-level words and phrases, and alternates to reduce the repetition.
- It is said that International law must demand that rich nations should help and assist poorer ones by providing them with food, medicine, and education.
- Although I partly agree with this, I believe that this help should stop at supplying basic items ("supplying the basics" - You can use "basics" as a plural noun.
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The task used the verb "required" so you need a stronger opening. The only possibility is an international agreement.
Most of your writing is very good English, but I have suggested some higher-level words and phrases, and alternates to reduce the repetition.
It is said that International law must demand that rich nati
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