PLEASE help me with my essay

Hi you, my name is Hanh. I'm a Vietnamese student and I'm preparing for my IELTS test, which happens in April. If you suddenly bump into my topics, could you spend some of your precious time reading my task 2? I really need you since my writing skill is too bad and I have my aim is 6.5.

If you are free to go, this is the essay I just have written 30 minutes ago:

TOPICS: Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

And here is my essay:

Computers are now becoming more and more famous in our modern world. In every home, we can easily expect to see many forms of computers. Therefore, many people said that computers were the most essential machine of the new century. I completely agree with this statement because computers are really helpful for human life.
The first important thing about a computer is that it helps students doing homework. With the development of both computer and Internet, it is getting easier for school boys and girls doing research. They can find out many useful things for the essay with different topics. Especially, sources could be written in many languages for every nationality.
Another advantage of using computer is that we can use this as an invention to connect with other people. By using social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, Skype in this high technology, children and adults from every contries could chat to each other immediately. Furthermore, this action is free. As an everyday user, I have got an amazing experience with this function. It was 2 months ago, I have a military course which asked me to live far for my parents. At first, I missed my family so much, I even cry for not seeing them. But it was a computer and its apps that cheered me up, I could talk and see my lovely home everyday at any time.
In conclusion, computers are such a vital invention for human being's life. In fact, they are the indispensable machine that I think we must all have one.

I'm looking forward to picking up your mind.

Thank you so much.