Please help me with ielts writing task 1

The two pie charts reveal the reasons which make people under and over 30 years old happy the most.

There are many similarities between what younger and older people say makes them most happy. However, there are several striking differences.

For both younger and older people, the highest percentage shows that achievement at work brings them most happiness, with 31% and 32 % respectively. Besides that, doing hobbies is also important, with the second largest peart (over 20%) of both age groups mention it as making them most happy.

Turning now to the differences, having a good appearance is a person which is stated by 18% of younger people. This is followed by 15% who regard travelling as bringing them happiness. Neither of these two factors is considered by older people. Instead, 20% of older people report that having financial security is necessary for their happiness and 14% suppose they feel most happy when they are with their family. In addition, other factors keeps a smaller pattern in both groups.

Thank you so much!