please, help me to write a good email

Question

I have to write an email back the main advertisement is like this :

Are you interested in meeting young people of your age from all around Europe?
If so, the International Summer Camp is just for you.
Our Camp offers summer programmes, a variety of sports and outdoor activities.
Most importantly, our Camp helps young people to make new and lasting friendships and develop an understanding of different cultures. The camp starts next Sunday We assure you, you will never forget the days spent with us. Contact us at:

I have to ask for more information about the details which are indicated
1) International Summer Camp --> Where exactly?
2) outdoor activities --> Which ones?
3) next Sunday --> What time?

And my reply is like this :

Dear Sir/Madam,
I read your advertisement in the online newspaper. I am interested in this camp.
However there are some vague things I would like to obtain more accurate information about it.
First of all, I wonder to know which one outdoor activities will be there? In Addition to this, will you please tell me the exactly what time will the camp start? Finally, can you confirm the location where the camp will be held?
I am looking forward to your replies.

Is that good in grammar?

Please help me to write an good email.

thank you all.

Doctor D · Accepted Answer

Rather than trying to correct your grammar, line by line, let me just tell you how I would say it:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I read the advertisement for your International Summer Camp in the online newspaper. I am interested in attending this camp. However there are some points I would like to have clarified.

First of all, where exactly is the camp being held and at what time on Sunday will it begin? In addition, could you tell me what particular outdoor activities there will be?

Thank you for your time. You may reach me at ....

I hope this helps.

G2FG · Answer

Thank you Doctor D it helped me.

Could you explain which one is correct :

This --> However there are some vague things I would like to obtain more accurate information about it.
Or this --> However there are some vague things I would like to obtain more accurate information about them.

I think second one is right. Am I right?

Thank you again.

Doctor D · Answer

You are half right. "Things" = "them."
However the sentence is not correct as written. Also "vague things" is awkward and unclear.

Let's first look at how to write the sentence better. The easiest way is to break it into two sentences:
However, there are some vague things [areas/points in your ad]. I would like to obtain more accurate information about them.

If you want to leave it as one sentence, you need to drop the "them":
However, there are some vague areas [that] I would like to obtain more accurate information about.

As to "vague things," the easiest fix is to replace it with "areas" or a similar term. Or to reword:
However, some points are a little vague. I would like to obtain more accurate information about them.

I hope this helps.

please, help me to write a good email

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Thank you Doctor D it helped me.

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