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Phúc Nguyễn Hoàng Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me to revise this essay. Thank you for your kindness

Topic: People should look after their health as a duty to the society they live in rather than only for their own personal benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay

It has long been believed that the prosperous nation is built up by the health of society. Some people argue that individual's health is only a personal matter. While I strongly agree that the individualism is no longer accepted by the civilized societies, and protecting health is the responsibility of any inhabitants to their own community.

There are several reasons why healthy matter should be considered as the national affair. Nowadays people living in contemporary society are expected to work closely the others. This could cause a high risk to spread very quickly many diseases in the same community and even across national borders. Furthermore, the exorbitant cost of medical treatment is a financial burden in any countries, so that governments could fall into a state of deficit financing. If those money had not been invested in education, young generation would have been condemned by poor education conditions.

In the same way, the investment in health benefits society as well as the individual. For example, American students who are a athlete in high schools might have more opportunities in getting into universities than the other ones because a substantial number of scholarship is offered frequently for such people every year. In other words, by keeping fit, a person could become more attractive in the opposite sex's eyes. It can be seen as a positive thing to encourage inhabitants paying their attention in improving physical appearance.

In conclusion, I believe that personal enjoyment should never be placed above public interest. People should consider taking care their health as a privilege.

  
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