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Hùng Phan Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me to revise the tank, thank you so much

Question: Children are experiencing the increasing educational, social and commercial pressures. What are the causes? What measures do you think can be taken to reduce them.

Answer

Over the past decades, education and training sectors for students have never failed to draw public attention and arouse a great number of debates. Although they are facing some negative issues such as the increasing pressures on education, society and commerce, the reasons and the best solutions for the problem need to be closely examined by authority. From my perspective, there is a main cause and my suggested method to approach the case.

Firstly, therefore we are living in a fast-changing world, business firms have to adjust to fit with the harsh requirement of consumers. So that they need to set high standards for their functioning systems, which are only available to recruit excellent skilled employees. Children in the motivation from society, education and economy often set themselves high goals to adapt with the demands of the jobs. They have to learn hard, become the book worms with huge pressures from aspiration of their parents and relatives. The underlying motivation, I think, is the main cause leads to rising stress of the young.

Secondly, how to deal with the problem is the daunting question which exists in the past years, and the comprehensive answer for it will ensure the well-being of children and the development of a country. These days, in some countries, people want their youngsters to become excellent individuals. However, I suppose that lowing stress by supporting students to focus on their talent is the effective solution. Children do not need to become expert in every fields. If they only concentrate in a specific major, they could become a master in the major, and they can find a job easily. By cutting time of unnecessary majors, children can focus on their strength and save more time for playing which extremely means to their childhood.

In conclusion, from the view of a individual, I believe that authors should reduce amount of studying time of unimportant majors to guarantee the well-being of children

  

Top answer

Sorry, but this is not a good essay. Most of the writing is off-topic, too vague, or just fabricating information that was not in the essay instructions. There was also considerable incorrect word usage.

  • Sorry, but this is not a good essay.
  • Most of the writing is off-topic, too vague, or just fabricating information that was not in the essay instructions.
  • There was also considerable incorrect word usage.
  • Think of children as young people aged about 7 to 14.
  • They go to elementary or primary school They are not majoring in college and most of them have no idea of what they want to do when they grow up.
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1 Answers
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Sorry, but this is not a good essay. Most of the writing is off-topic, too vague, or just fabricating information that was not in the essay instructions. There was also considerable incorrect word usage.

Think of children as young people aged about 7 to 14. They go to elementary or primary school They are not majoring in college and most of them have no idea of what they want to do when

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