Please help me to revise my Motivation Letter

Hello everyone,

Based on what I leant from this forum, I have written a motivation letter and have checked it several times.

But I still feel there is lot of room for improvement. I would very appreciate if you can give me some valuable advice.

Thank you very much.



Best wishes,

Eric


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to apply for the Ph.D. position of "BESs for metal recovery" at XXXX.

In 2003, I earned a bachelor degree in Environmental Science from Wuhan University in China. Afterwards, I continued my study in the same university with specialization in Environmental Chemistry, and received the master degree in the middle of 2007. During the period, I was fortunate to be granted the Erasmus Mundus scholarship, the only one in Wuhan University in 2005, to participate the joint master program of GIS and Earth Observation for Environmental Modeling and Management. Having studied in the specialized areas, ranging from water pollution control in molecule level to water management in watershed, I have acquired the skills of systematic research and analytical thinking. Moreover, I have also got considerable experience on experiment design and setup, analytical instruments and laboratorial safety.

From late 2007 till now, I have worked in two consulting firms. The first job was environmental consultant in China branch of a Dutch consulting company. The current position is working as technical business developer, helping to bridge foreign enterprises and Chinese industries, and to introduce state of art technologies to Chinese market. Benefiting from the broad nature of consultancy work, I have been exposed to a wide range of subjects from technology to application, and different entities from research centers to enterprises. Most importantly, the working experience endows me with ability of efficient collaboration with experts from different disciplines and industries.

The rapid increasing energy demand by economy and population growth, necessity to reduce dependency on fossil fuel and emerging environmental awareness have challenged all scientists to find more sustainable and economical ways, to maintain and improve the current living standard. Along with the rapid development of modern industry, large amount of waste water containing heavy metals is generated, causing both environmental pollution and waste of resources. Further considering the global metal resource depletion, recovery of metals from waste stream is attractive from both environmental and industrial perspectives.

Through communication with factory managers and on-site visits to the WWT facilities, I get the impression that the everlasting dilemma for wastewater treatment is energy and chemical consumption. Especially in developing countries, some WWT facilities only would be switched on in case of a scheduled inspection from the government. Although the situation is getting better while law enforcement is tightened, the development of new water technologies offers great potential to ease the environmental concerns and to reduce the operational cost for the industries.

As my first exposure to bio-electrochemical systems (BESs) I took the course "Environmental Biotechnology" in my studies. I was especially impressed that, BESs show vital possibility to recover energy while removing COD from used water. On the other hand, BESs indicate an exciting way other than the traditional energy intensive method of metal recovery from water. After reading dozens of papers and textbooks, I became acquainted with the fascinating method of BESs. I want to study at your center and focus on metal recovery by BESs because that allows me to combine both my interests in researching more about environmental bioscience as well as investigating possibility of industrial application.

I want to study at XXXX because of your outstanding research system, focus on converting cutting-edge know-how to successful and profitable innovations, and your excellent cooperation with industries in water sector. In spite that XXXX is a relatively new research center, it already set its steady footprints in the development of sustainable water technology. From speaking with several industrial experts from Dutch water and environment companies, who are in high praise of XXXX, I am confident of my decision. With many distinguished scientists as professors and lots of prestigious companies as participants, I know that I will gain expert knowledge at the forefront of research and innovation. Moreover, by combining the specialized education, hands-on research and close integration with industries during the Ph.D. period, I will gain critical work experience. All these strong positives allow me to research cutting-edge technologies, such as BESs, and to pursue my dreams and ambitions.

Given my past history of commitment to excellence, I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your program. I am sure to exceed your expectations, because of both my academic and interpersonal skills as well as the experience gained from my employments. Furthermore, my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely Yours,