Please help me to revise my essay Task 2 Ielts

Topic: Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Creating an effective curriculum for students in schools is always challenging and a difficult topic. While some opinions emphasize the idea that students should only concentrate on their interesting subjects, others lean on the importance of teaching all subjects in schools. In my opinion, I lean on the second side due to the following reasons.

Finding and developing specific abilities of children in an early period is very important which might lead to only teaching major subjects that the students are interested in. For example, some children spend most of their time to practice dancing while other subjects such as maths, sciences are less considered. They are well oriented to concentrate and investigate developing their special skills in professional ways. Nevertheless, this way potentially exists several disadvantages. Students educated in this way often lack knowledge in other subjects. They also feel difficult to adapt to the environment, especially to play with other children.

Meanwhile, focusing on all school subjects is often a general way in many schools to teach teenagers. The first region is that these programs aim to develop children in a balance. Children will be equipped with basic and fundamental skills and knowledge to adapt to different situations. For example, history, science, swimming, first-aid skills presentations, and cooperation are really important for children to learn and understand.

Second, in this way, the schools can treat all children fairly without discrimination. They will not see differences from each others which can help them to be playful in schools. Such a thing can reduce a lot of violence and abuse problems in schools.

Due to these reasons, I would side with the general opinion that focuses on teaching all subjects in schools. Besides, schools need to take into account the special abilities of children to recommend and advise their parents in order to develop in an appropriate way.