Please help me to Review this Writing Task 2 essay.

Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. Do you agree

or disagree?

Many people argue that most people commit sins on account of their disadvantageous living conditions. Personally, I partly concur with this opinion.

The primary culprit why the majority of crimes are attributed to impoverished condition is the governments. When the authorities get stuck in coping with problems relating to work and poverty such as not providing sufficient jobs and food for inhabitants, the living condition may suffer negative impacts. In that case, many people, especially juveniles will have a tendency to take risk by means of doing some illegal actions such as robbing banks, smuggling or even killing to achieve their aims. In South America, where the rate of crimes is noticeably high, the state avoids their responsibilities for administering appropriate punishments for sinners, besides lacking methods of minimizing poverty. Hence, the security in this area is frequently put in jeopardy.

On the other hand, the view that poverty plays an insignificant role in increasing crimes rate is reasonable for several causes, and the main reason is the attempt of each individual. Nowadays, a multitude of people are extremely disadvantageous since they were not born in upper-class or middle-class families . Nevertheless, by means of enormous efforts, they were likely to earn a good living without committing any sins. One clear example is Brazil, where most children grew up in slums. Despite financial hardships, this youngsters have a craving for being world-class football players, and a number of them became renowned players with lucrative incomes at an early age.

In conclusion, for the causes I have mentioned above, I firmly believe that this view is rational to some extent.