Please help me to review my IELTS essay on Economic progress

Topic: Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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My essay:

There are many factors contributing to the stability and prosperity of a country. While many authorities believe that economic development is the most crucial objective for their countries, some people claim that other developments play an equal role too. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and conclude with my personal view.

On the one hand, economic progress is essential because it provides a budget for a nation to build fundamental infrastructure and facilities for its citizens. These could be named such as roads, public transport system, hospitals, schools, and so on. Without these necessities, people in a country would not be able to live or work effectively. In addition, revenue from economic development enables governments to establish good welfare systems for their people which is to ensure people’s health, well-being, and safety.

On the other hand, other types of progress such as education and social improvements have significant influences on a country. Firstly, education helps to equip people with sufficient knowledge and skills to gain employment. This in return helps to boost the economy. Moreover, a nation with a well-educated population is deemed to be more developed and more secure. Secondly, social improvements for instance building adequate housing, accessible support services are of importance. This is because housing and a healthy, stable living condition with sufficient support are basic and primary conditions for people to live, study and work. A country could not sustain if its citizens do not have a sustainable living circumstance.

In conclusion, it is evident that economic advancement is vital, however, it is not the only factor contributing to the development of a country. I personally think that educational and social advances have as much impact as well.

285 words