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Tiểu Cầm Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me to review my IELTS Essay

Question: Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree.


Some commentators argue that education is a more effective tool compared with prison sentences in the fight against crime. I completely disagree with this point of view because I believe that both approaches have their own distinctive merits and each should play an integral role in tackling crime.


On the one hand, I argue that prison contributes remarkably ro reducing the crime rate. Firstly, people who commit a crime will soon find themselves behind the bars because unlawful actions always have consequences. Murderer, for example, will be imprisoned and face the loss of freedom, social isolation and separation from their loved ones. Secondly, custodial sentences could hinder offenders from posing a threat to society because it ensures the safety of other citizens. People do not need to worry about public security when walking on the street or relaxing at home.


On the other hand, I consider that education has a complementary role to play when it comes to crime solving. One reason is that the educational programs provided in prison would rehabilitate offenders. Prisoners who receive education of vocational training could learn personal skills and specific job skills. As a result, rehabilitated prisoners are less likely to re-offend after they are released. Secondly, an onus is on academic institutions to provide students with necessary knowledge so that they can avoid getting involved with crime or being a victim. For example, children at school should be taught about road safety rules and drug abuse consequences in order not to fall foul of the law.


In conclusion, I believe that education and prison sentences are equally important in the reduction of crime rate.

  

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m Please help me to review my IELTS Essay. That is not the correct request. Use one of these: Please help me by reviewing my IELTS Essay.

  • m Please help me to review my IELTS Essay.
  • That is not the correct request.
  • Use one of these: Please help me by reviewing my IELTS Essay.
  • Please help me.
  • Review my IELTS Essay.
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Ti?u C?m Please help me to review my IELTS Essay.

That is not the correct request. Use one of these:

Please help me by reviewing my IELTS Essay.

Please help me. Review my IELTS Essay.

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Some commentators argue that education is a more effective tool compared with than prison sentences in the fight against crime. I completely disagree with this point of view because I believe that both approaches have their own distinctive merits and each should ("Can" is a better choice than should.) play an integral role in

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