Please help me to look over three motivation questions. Thanks!

Dear everyone,

I'm applying a IB risk Graduate programme and answered the motivation questions as follow.

Would you please look over the answers and give me some recommendation?

Thank you very much!

Mengyuan

Motivation & Sustainability

Describe your motivation for applying to [ ] (200 words) *

[] enjoys a high reputation in investment banking with []credit rating and over [] billion in balance sheet. During 2007, it has been able to steer through the biggest collapse since the 1930s and has emerged as a stronger business. To sustain growth in the increasingly volatile market, one competitive advantage of [] is the culture that expects its people to be leaders of the business ten years down the line. Therefore, [] is willing to invest in its people with all the tools and opportunities to succeed, which few banks can do. Attracted by the powerful delivery from [], I am highly motivated to take the opportunities and do my best to invest my time in the firm in return. Hopefully, by launching my career in [], I can look back ten years from now and find myself having an incredibly successful career.

Please describe your motivation for applying to the IB Risk business area. Please give details of any skills you have that would be relevant to this area (200 words) *

I have been particularly attracted by IB Risk business since I worked in [] Ventures Capital. The major project I’ve completed there is to assess the feasibility of ‘insurance companies investing PE’. Although the hot investment is waiting to burst in [], I found that it is constrained by the lack of risk management techniques and human resources, which motivated me to specialise in the growing business area. At the same time, my professor and employer were impressed by my numerate and analytical skills since I always ranked first in the quantitative courses and showed an excellent research ability and good attention to details at work place. They both strongly recommended a master course related to risk management and quantitative jobs to me. Therefore, I continue to study financial mathematics in Warwick Business School and start to implement the initial plan to launch my career in the Risk business area.

Explain the key skills you have developed that make you suited to a career with J.P. Morgan and the area to which you have applied. Please be specific and provide concrete examples from a broad range of experiences to demonstrate each skill (200 words) *



My prime skill relevant to the job is that I am good with numbers. The ability has been gained from four statistic courses lasted for three years in [] University. Working with numerical data and materials everyday, I have been trained to solve quantitative problems meticulously and generated excellent academic performance.



Also, I have good commercial and economic awareness with strong reasoning ability. When working as a research assistant in [] Ventures Capital, I was in the lead to assess the feasibility for ‘insurance companies investing PE’ and forecasted the coming emergence of the investment as well as liquidity and regulatory constraints inside. With my research results, [] VC decided to include [] insurance funds in the first National FOFs but prepare back-up fund sources as well.



I am also influential in work place with strong interpersonal and negotiation skills which have been developed from my client-facing and sales experiences in brokerage and FMCG industries.



These skills and experiences make me suited to a career with the leading investment bank-[] and Risk business position which requires an outstanding numerate, business intuition and leadership skills.