Please help me to correct this mistake and the idea if possible

I need to write a really good motivation letter, and Im really worried about that.
Could you please help me to correct it? thank you so so much
Tina
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Dear Sir or Madam,

Im hereby applying for the entrance of Bachelor’s Degree programme in International Economics and Business Economics at Erasmus University Rotterdam (EUR) in September 2010. I believe my educational background in combination with my great ambition would enable me to quickly adapt to the level of this programme, and make the best out of it.

To start with, I would like to give you some background information about me. I was brought up in a small and beautiful city called Danang, situated in the Centre of VietNam. Since the fact that my mother is a teacher of English and my father is a teacher of Maths, I had more chances to practise and build a quite strong foundation for these subjects which became one of my best and favourite subjects later on.

In 1999, like every students, I took compulsory entrance exam to Le Qui Don Gifted High School which is the best high school in my city and one of the top ones in VietNam. I passed with a very high scores in all subjects ( Maths, English and Literature). During the study there, I proved myself as a hardworking and active student with a lot of rewards in city contests for the excellent students ( consolation prize, third prize and second prize). Although the result of my high school graduation’s exam were not like I expected ( since right before the exam, I got really sick), I was happy since I knew that I already tried all I could.

After high school, I chose Da Nang University as my next study career where I was trained to be a professional teacher of English or a person who can work in any kinds of career relating to education. During these years(2002-2006) I travelled a lot in summer holiday such as Singapore, Malaysia, Thai Lan, Australia and so on. Among many highlights of travelling, I had a great experience not only as a traveller but also as an international student there, living with Australian family, attending school and obviously experiencing the Australian way of life (for three months). Though it was such a short time I must say it helped me open my eyes a lot to the world and definitely made me more curious to experience more. Despite all the fun activities, I still received a lot of scholarships from my university thanks to my good result every semester. I also won the Second Prize in city “Conference on Scientific Research Students”. In 2006, I finished my university life in Danang with a 10/10 in protecting graduation thesis, graduating with Classification Good and was ranked among 10% best students in my university.

With quite a good result of my study and great reference from my internship, I had quite a lot of offers, from famous private school -VATC ( Vietnamese American training college) to public high school and universities ( Architect University). I chose VATC as my first launch of my career since I always want to work in an international environment. After working there for one year as a teacher, marketer, activities organizer and socialiser; I decided to open my own school with a great help from my husband. For the following one year and a half, I managed all businesses relating to our private centre from accounting, marketing to students selections. And it turned out to be a great success with a lot of lovely and good students. During this wonderful period, I figured it out that I could do more than this and wanted to explore more about my imminent abilities and that was one of the main reasons why we decided to close our centre in the early 2009.

In July 2009, I immigrated to Holland and chose International Business and Management study in the Hague University. Because I could access different kinds of subject ( introduction to Finance, Marketing, international business and so on) I believed it would be the great chance for me to know which field I should actually belong to. During the first half year, I recognised that I was really interested in Marketing, Finance and Maths. I like marketing since it is a subject which requires creation and imagination. I love Finance and Maths since it is logical and I like numbers. To me, it is such a fantastic feeling every time I can solve a problem. Until the second semester, I have had a chance to study Economics and found out how interesting it can be. It is so wonderful to find out the connection among each elements, how the change of this element will change the other one (like supply and demand; production and consumption), the interdependence of markets or the closely relation among economics of countries and so on. In particular, it has made me realize that I like analysis and explanation. I believe almost everything in this world happens for a reason, that one thing can lead to another. Moreover, what is more wonderful than to know more about the economic of your own country and the relationship to other countries, how its economic effect your own business and so on? Since then, I have been following up with economics news mostly on website http://www.economist.com.

YES!!! ECONOMICS is my BEST INTEREST and obviously, ERASMUS UNIVERSITY is my IDEAL CHOICE. First of all, because Erasmus University has great reputation about Economics programme. Second, we all know that you have offered very high quality of education with high level , devoted teachers and staffs, modern teaching methods and so on. Thirdly, I can even feel by myself that you create us a real international environment especially after I had a chance to join your last open day (Saturday, 27^th March). Last but not least, when I have searched more information about your school, besides economics you also have all the subjects that I like ( Maths, Finance, Marketing, Statistics…)

To sum up, I am motivated to study in the field that I know for sure I should belong to and I am even much happier and feel so honoured if I can study in a university which I believe is the best for me. I am responsible and willing to put all my efforts in my work to get a satisfied results. I like challenges and I am eager to learn new experiences. And definitely, as I mentioned above, I believe that Erasmus University is an excellent and unique place for anyone including me to prepare for an ambitious career

Thank you very much for considering my application. I would be very pleased to be granted admission for this fall term.

Sincerely yours,