Please help me to correct this IELTS Task 2

Thema: The only ways to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Task:

To secure the road safety, some people think that the authority must impose much stricter punishments on any violation. I partially concur with such an idea, because it is just a one-sided thought.

In fact, it is undeniable that the traffic condition in our country is gradually worsening. There are many traffic accidents occurring everyday which cause heavy injuries or probably death. Meanwhile, many drivers do not understand thoroughly the traffic rules as they obtain driving licenses from fake tests given by some corrupted training centres. Imaging that in a nation where motorbikes are among the most used means of transport, riders often offend the code when circulating on streets such as passing through the red light, or rushing into one-way paths to bypass their journeys. Moreover, while drunk driving which is recognised as a crime in many countries, it is frequently seen on the daily basis. Therefore, harder regulations in line with heavy fines should be reinforced to all people so that every person must comply with the law when driving.

On the other hand, it is unreasonable to attribute all traffic accidents to the carelessness of drivers. With an enormous population concentrated in a few megacities, the number of vehicles is drastically increasing every year. As a result, the urban infrastructure for circulation becomes overwhelmed. Even, governmental investment in public transport seems to be insufficient to meet citizens’ demand, resulting in higher pressure on the current route system. Thus, it is necessary to ameliorate the quality of current roads, and the government should implement appropriate policies to limit the use of personal vehicles in the central areas. Besides, propaganda campaigns or traffic education programmes at school might be useful tools to reestablish the law of circulation.

Finally, when expecting to the govermental projects for modern highways or metros as long-term solutions, I believe that tough punishments remain an effective strategy to ensure traffic safety in parallel with strengthening traffic education.