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Kookie jung Posted 8 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me to correct this essay. Thank you in advance

Topic: Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Pursuing academic studies at university or doing vocational training courses have been a matter of great controversy to both individuals and societies for a long time. While I believe that enrolling in university is a good choice, I argue that vocational training programs should be promoted as the main priority of workforce development.

On the one hand, I believe that it is advisable for people to attend higher education. Firstly, academic qualifications are required in many professions. For example, it is impossible to become a doctor or a lawyer without having the relevant degrees, as a result, university graduates are more likely to have better opportunities, and they tend to earn higher salaries than those with fewer qualifications. Secondly, the job market is becoming more and more competitive, and hundreds of applicants often chase the top jobs. For this reason, those who do not have degrees from a university will not be able to compete.

On the other hand, I am convinced that vocational training should be recognized as the key to the workforce supply. Firstly, attending vocational training courses will help people focus on practical skills which they can put to use in a job immediately. For example, a vocational program mainly focuses on teaching a person how to perform the tasks which are required in various fields, such as plumber or electricians. Because the training is specifically related to their fields, so those who take a vocational training course will find jobs easier than people with general academic backgrounds. Secondly, in some developed countries, there is an existing imbalance in the economy, resulting in graduate unemployment. While at the same time, there is a shortage of high-skilled labor. Therefore, instead of pursuing tertiary education, attending a vocational training course is a better choice.

In conclusion, while I feel that following higher education is a good route for most people, I firmly believe that priority should be given to vocational training, making it the core of workforce development.

  
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