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Phúc Nguyễn Hoàng Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me to correct some grammatical errors. Thanks a lot

Topic: More and more people are busy with work and do not have enough time to spend with their families and friends. Why does this happen? What are the effects on family and society as a whole?

Nowadays people choose to spend a substiantial amount of lifetime in the workplaces rather than in the other social relations. The reasons why this trend is becoming popular are varied. This essay is going to present some adverse effects could impact on families and society.

There are two main reasons why the social interactions have been changed in recent years. First, in globalized era, the growth of economies is booming, which requires the higher qualifications and a greater amount of time to meet the expectations of this development. For example, the more and more the multinational corporations do business in Vietnam, which causes a considerable pressure on students to learn the second languages because they hope that having a golden chance to seek the fulfilling jobs in the future. Second, the exorbitant cost of living, especially in the metropolises, forces both husbands and wives in the families to guarantee a reasonable life. Expenditure on foods, vehicles and housing causes the financial burden on metropolitans such as Tokyo, London or New York.

Lack of time for family members or friends could cause a bunch of negative effects on both individuals and communities. In the developed nations, young parents who are suffering an excessive load of assignments at work, merely hold responsible for taking care their children. This causes the rise in the figures of adolescents who committed crimes at very young ages. From the societal levels, many countries are experiencing the downward movement on the rate of birth which leads to the aging population because young generations tend to postpone their married lives until having a stable life. This trend results in a greater tax burden for working adults and a shortage of workforces in next few years.

In conclusion, it is obvious that this is a negative development, and I believe that governments should research some measures to mitigate these potential problems.

  

Top answer

I'm practicing my writing skill too and I'm not a professional English teacher or a native but I hope I can help you figure out some mistakes that I have found by using the Oxford and Collocation dictionary as a source of reference. ---------------------------------------------- Nowadays people choose to spend a substiantial (wrong spell) amount of (their) lifetime in the workplaces rather than in the other social relations (I think relationships sounds more natural). The reasons why this trend is becoming popular are varied.

  • I'm practicing my writing skill too and I'm not a professional English teacher or a native but I hope I can help you figure out some mistakes that I have found by using the Oxford and Collocation dictionary as a source of reference.
  • ---------------------------------------------- Nowadays people choose to spend a substiantial (wrong spell) amount of (their) lifetime in the workplaces rather than in the other social relations (I think relationships sounds more natural).
  • The reasons why this trend is becoming popular are varied.
  • This essay is going to present some adverse effects could impact on families and society.
  • There are two main reasons why the social interactions have been changed in recent years.
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1 Answers
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I'm practicing my writing skill too and I'm not a professional English teacher or a native but I hope I can help you figure out some mistakes that I have found by using the Oxford and Collocation dictionary as a source of reference.

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Nowadays people choose to spend a substiantial (wrong spell

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