Please help me to correct my writing. Thanks a lot.

Question

The methods used by international students when booking the online English courses in three different countries

Answer

The charts illustrate the percentage of English course booked by international students in Australia, the USA and Canada in 2019 and 2010

Overall, the proportion of the students in three countries booking via Internet increased from 2009 to 2010. The percentage of students who pre-booked English courses with agents grew in the USA and Canada, but declined in Australia.

In 2009, students used Internet emthod for booking then courses accounted for 24%, 25% and 27% the Uatralia, the USA and Canada respectively. These percentages increased by just 3% in the USA and Canada, however there was a dramatic rise in Australia to 39%. The proportion of students whos pre-ordered courses through agents steeply increased to 35% in 2010 whereas the USA’s proportions grew by just 3%. There was a drop in the figure of Australia falling from 26% to 17%.

The proportion for booking on arrival upsurged from 30% to 35% in Australia in 2010, but decreased by half in Canada. The figure of students booking on arrival remained the same of 24%. The percentages of other methods from 7% to 20% in Canada but declined about 7% in the other countries.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Sorry, my eyes cannot read the chart - the writing is too small and fuzzy - so I cannot help you much.

There are four main issues with the first sentence.

The ( 1) charts illustrate ( 2) the percentage of English course ( 3) booked by international students in Australia, the USA and Canada in 2019 and 2010 ( 4)

1. What kind of chart? How many are there?

2. "illustrate" means "make a picture." This verb is very good for pictures - maps, diagrams, and process maps. It should NOT be used for plots, charts and graphs. For charts and graphs, pick one of these: compare, plot, give, show or present.

3. Did these people book a half or a quarter or another percentage of this course?

4. You missed punctuation.

Overall, the proportion of the students in these three countries booking via Internet increased from 2009 to 2010. The percentage of students who pre-booked English courses with agents grew in the USA and Canada, but declined in Australia.

In 2009, students used Internet emthod for booking then courses accounted for 24%, 25% and 27% the Uatralia, the USA and Canada (That is not grammatical) respectively. These percentages increased by just 3% in the USA and Canada, however there was a dramatic rise in Australia to 39%. The proportion of students whos pre-ordered courses through agents steeply increased to 35% in 2010 whereas the USA’s proportions grew by just 3%. There was a drop in the figure of Australia ("figure of Australia" is not a good phrase. You should avoid the word "figure" in these essays. Most of the time it will be inappropriate and unnatural. ) falling from 26% to 17%.

The proportion for booking on arrival upsurged from 30% to 35% in Australia in 2010, but decreased by half in Canada. The figure (wrong word) of students booking on arrival remained the same of 24%. The percentages of other methods from 7% to 20% in Canada but declined about 7% in the other countries.

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

Please help me to correct my writing. Thanks a lot.

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