Please help me to correct my writing task 1.

Question

The table lists the percentages of cell phone users with various purposes in 2006, 2008 and 2010. These ranges from communication (make calls, send & receive text messages) to recreation (play games, play music) and others (take photo, search the Internet and record video).

Overall, three features on the top of the list (make calls, take photos, send & receive text messages) were used by over half all three years. The proportion of each purpose increased. There are two missing data points for search the Internet and record video in 2006.

In detail, almost 100% mobile phone owners using it for making calls. The other one in communication group was in the second place, ranging from 73% to 79%. The proportions of recreation group were doubled between 2006 and 2010, 17% versus 41% for play games and 12% versus 26% for play music. There was an substantial increase, from 41% to 73%, in the percentage of mobile phone users searching the Internet. The value for record video have quadrupled from 2008 to 2010, 9% and 35% respectively.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The table lists the percentages of cell phone users with various purposes (That does not make sense.) in 2006, 2008 and 2010. These ranges from communication (make calls, send & receive text messages) to recreation (play games, play music) and others (take photo, search the Internet and record video).

Overall, three features on t

Overall, three features on the top of the list (make calls, take photos, send & receive text messages) were used by over half all three years. The proportion of each purpose increased. (That does not make sense) There are two missing data points for search the Internet and record video in 2006. (The data is not missing. "No data" usually means that the function did not exist at the time.)

In detail, almost 100% mobile phone owners using it for making calls. The other one (which one?) in the communication category ~~group~~ was in the second place, ranging from 73% to 79%. The proportions of recreation group (That does not make sense) were doubled (wrong verb form) between 2006 and 2010, 17% versus 41% for play games and 12% versus 26% for play music. There was an substantial increase, from 41% to 73%, in the percentage of mobile phone owners who used it to search ~~users searching~~ the Internet. The ~~value~~ percentage who used their phone as a video camera ~~for record video have~~ quadrupled from 2008 to 2010, 9% and 35% ~~respectively~~.

Sample essay:

The table lists the percentage of people who use their mobile phones for phone calls, photography, texting, gaming, internet searches, playing music and video recording. Three years are shown, 2006, 2008 and 2010.

Overall, most people use their mobile phones for interpersonal communication (talking and messaging) but also for taking snapshots. However, some features became more popular over this time period, in particular, looking for information on the internet.

In detail, everyone made phone calls with their smart phones, and more than two-thirds did texting and took photos in all of these years. But in 2006 less than one in five played music or computer games, (12% and 17%, respectively), and no one was using it as a video camera or to search the internet. However, by 2010, almost as many (73%) were using their phone to retrieve information from the Internet as phoning (99%), texting, (79%) and photography (76%). The percent playing music doubled, from 12 to 26%, and about a third (35%) were recording videos with their phones in 2010.

Please help me to correct my writing task 1.

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