Please help me to correct my grammar. Thank you :)

Question

The movie that has influenced my thinking the most is ‘Miracle in Cell no. 7’. It’s a Korean Drama. It is the saddest story that I’ve ever watched. The story is about a sweet little daughter and a mentally challenged father.  In short, the father falsely accused of murder and bring him to the cell. Then his daughter infiltrated to the jail because she wanted to live with her father. The story began more interesting during his time in prison. A lot of interesting occurrence happened. Long story short, the father has forced to confess about the murder and executed. The movie really take my tears and make me cry a lot.

Heralding Heretic · Accepted Answer

Hi, first of all let me say that I am not an expert or even a native English speaker. I do, however, think that I have some basic knowledge of the language. Here is what I would change:

The movie that has influenced my thinking the most is ‘Miracle in Cell no. 7’. It is a Korean Drama, and it is the saddest movie that I have ever watched.

A little explanation, In written language I prefer to use 'it is' and 'I have' and so on instead of 'it's' or 'I've', which I prefer to use in dialogue or spoken language. However, this is just my preference and both ways are correct. I also appended the last sentence to the second. I think it reads better this way. I am not sure, but watching a story sounds off to me, so I would change it to movie.

The story is about a sweet little daughter and a mentally challenged father.

I would write this differently as this way it is not clear that they are actually related. Either:

The story is about a sweet little daughter and her mentally challenged father.

or

The story is about a mentally challenged father and his sweet little daughter.

In short, the father is falsely accused of murder and bring him to the cell.

The last part of this sentence is off. You could write:

In short, the father is falsely accused of murder and once convicted, he goes to prison.

If you omit convicted, you insinuate that he went to prison without a trail.

Then, his daughter infiltrates prison because she wants to live with her father.

I changed jail to prison. There is a difference between jail and prison, and I think that you are talking about prison.

The story began more interesting during his time in prison. A lot of interesting occurrence happened.

I would change this to:

A lot of interesting things happen while he is in prison, and the story becomes more engrossing.

You cannot write something like occurrences happen, either there is an occurrence, or something occurs. I would also try to avoid using interesting twice in a row, and so I changed the second one to engrossing.

Long story short, the father is forced to confess the murder and is executed.

The movie really take my tears and make me cry a lot.

This doesn't sound natural. A better way to write this would be:

The movie brings tears to my eyes.

or something like that.

In summary, I would write it like this:

The movie that has influenced my thinking the most is ‘Miracle in Cell no. 7’. It is a Korean Drama, and it is the saddest movie that I have ever watched. The story is about a mentally challenged father and his sweet little daughter. In short, the father is falsely accused of murder and once convicted, they bring him to his the cell. Then, his daughter infiltrates prison because she wants to live with her father. A lot of interesting things happen when he is in prison, and the story becomes more engrossing. Long story short, the father is forced to confess the murder and is executed. The movie brings tears to my eyes.

Please help me to correct my grammar. Thank you :)

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