Please help me to correct my essay

Topic: Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

The video game industry has been increasingly developing since the advent of computer in the 20 century. Some video games are shown to harness perceptual and cognitive skills of game players, especially for disabled and older people. However, a number of games nowadays cause many unfavorable effects on people. In my opinion, harmful effects of video games overshadow their benefits gained by people who play them.

First of all, people who play video games, particularly violent games tend to have maladapted behaviors. People who sustain too much on fast-moving or ever-stimulating games find it hard to maintain their attention to slower-paced activities. They can hardly concentrate on doing normal daily activities or communicating with other people. Other worse problems also arise through prolonged exposure to playing games include social withdrawal, loneliness, depression or even heighten irritation. Some people who are too immersed in their game may have aggressive behaviors such as screaming or shouting at other people. I have ever seen my nephew screamed and beat his younger brother after he lost the game.

Secondly, playing computer games is extremely time-consuming. Time spent on playing also means less time investing in studying and other hobbies. It is not rare that quite a few children and college students spend less time and effort working on projects or studying for exams. This could leads to their poor academic results.

Last but not least, various health issues are attributed to spending a long period of time playing computer games. Sitting in one position and pressing buttons repeatedly results in neck pain and eyes and hands strain. Besides, less time spending on sports can increase risks of cardiovascular diseases and weight gain. Furthermore, long game sessions can leave people physically tired, affecting their performance at work or school.

In conclusion, I believe that disadvantages of playing computer games are far more than advantages they bring for people. Some notable drawbacks of playing games include uncontrolled behaviors, waste of time and health problems.