Please help me to check this essay for Writing task 2 IELTS. Thank you :)

Question

Some people think that schools select their pupils according to their academic ability. Others believe that young people with different abilities should be educated together. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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There have been many changes in the way classes are divided currently. Some people think that students who have the same academic performance should be grouped together, while others believe that students of all levels should mingle together. I think that the first method is only true for high schools and colleges.

People have reasons to not want children of different academic abilities to learn in the same setting, especially in high schools and colleges. Firstly, grouping students with the same capability would make the learning process more efficient. Teachers would have to spend less time to deliver the core concepts to students, and vice versa, students would absorb the knowledge much faster. Secondly, grouping students with the same academic performance would actually be beneficial to those who require more help in understanding the material. Teachers can focus on assisting those who struggle without being pressured to increase the pace for the ones who already understand.

However, I think that in elementary and middle schools, children should be grouped together regardless of their intellectual abilities. This would guarantee better child development, especially personality-wise. By making children mingle with those from different learning abilities, children would not be aware of this difference. This will make the child become humble and accepting, which are core values of humans. Also, this method of grouping is better because it promotes more in-class discussions between children who need more help and children who are better at the materials. By letting the ones who understand explain concepts to the ones who do not, the classroom's atmosphere will be more interactive.

In conclusion, both methods of division have their own benefits and downsides. I believe that grouping students based on academic abilities should be used for high school and college students, while primary and middle school kids should be grouped randomly.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

tristiandoSome people think that schools select their pupils according to their academic ability. Others believe that young people with different abilities should be educated together. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In the topic, the word "pupil" is used. It refers to primary school, that is, grades 1-6.
Pupil is not used to mean students in higher levels of education, high school, college and university.

If the Task 2 instructions are actually what is intended, then your essay is mostly off-topic and will get a low score in "Task completion."

There have been many changes in the way classes are divided ~~currently~~. (This adverb does not go with present perfect tense.) Some people think that students who have the same academic performance should be grouped together, while others believe that students of all levels should mingle (wrong word) together. I think that the first method is only true for high schools and colleges.

(Your last sentence is an answer to the following question.

Do all schools group or select students according to their academic performance?
You answered, "No, only high schools and trade schools do this. Other schools, primary schools and universities, do not."

Obviously, this is not answering the Task 2 question. So you will lose points for "Task completion.")

People have reasons to not want children of different academic abilities to learn in the same setting, especially in high schools and colleges. Firstly, grouping students with the same capability would make the learning process more efficient. Teachers would have to spend less time to deliver the core concepts to students, and vice versa, students would absorb the knowledge much faster. Secondly, grouping students with the same academic performance would actually be beneficial to those who require more help in understanding the material. Teachers can focus on assisting those who struggle without being pressured to increase the pace for the ones who already understand.

However, ~~I think that~~ (Do not state your opinion in the body paragraphs. Only put it in the introduction and conclusion. The body paragraphs are for points in support of your position.) in elementary and middle schools, children should be grouped together regardless of their intellectual abilities. This would guarantee better child development, especially personality-wise. By making children mingle with those from different learning abilities, children would not be aware of this difference. This will make the child become humble and accepting, which are core values of humans. Also, this method of grouping is better because it promotes more in-class discussions between children who need more help (I think you made this same point in the previous paragraph. It is repetitious.) and children who are better at the materials. By letting the ones who understand explain concepts to the ones who do not, the classroom's atmosphere will be more interactive.

In conclusion, both methods of division have their own benefits and downsides. I believe that grouping students based on academic abilities should be used for high school and college students, while primary and middle school kids should be grouped randomly.

Please help me to check this essay for Writing task 2 IELTS. Thank you :)

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