Please help me to check my Writing task 2. Thank you very much.

Writing task 2: More and more people are busy with work and do not have enough time to spend with their families and friends. Why does this happen? What are the effects on family and society as a whole?

Task:

It is obvious that today, there is a large number of people busy with work that they can’t balance time between work and their private life. This essay will discuss the reasons for this problem and the effects on family and society.

This phenomenon can be caused by several factors. First and foremost, our living standard is higher and higher. Thus, people can't afford to pay many types of taxes and purchase necessities like accommodation, food, and clothes. In other words, they have to apply more jobs and increase working hours to earn money. As a result, they don’t have enough to spend with their family and friends. Secondly, more and more people become workaholics due to their misconceptions. Some parents think that they are young, so they have to work hard to make money for a well-fed family. Therefore, they work against the clock all day and forget about their personal life.

This tendency have resulted in various negative impacts on family and society as a whole. Due to the lack of parental attention, more and more children are immersed in video games and social crimes such as robberies, drug addiction, and even murdur, leading to bad results at school. Besides, it also also the cause of broken marriages. Family meals or romantic dates will be replaced by working sessions where husband and wife go early and leave late at night. Those will have a large impact on society like the high criminal rate and the large number of divorces.

In conclusion, there are various reasons why this issue happened and effects on family and society.

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