Please help me to check my motivational letter

Hi there! I wrote a motivational letter for a university in France.
What do you think about this?
Thank you for your help!

To : Admission Department
*****, Paris.

Dear Scholarship Award Committee and Readers,

First of all, I would like to express gratitude for the scholarship opportunity. Together with this letter, I want to propose a request for a Fashion Marketing undergraduate scholarship chance in *****

My name is (..) and I will soon graduate from one of the most prestigious school in Jakarta. My encounter in Fashion world on the age of five when I read my mother’s magazine made me keenly interested in acquiring more knowledge in Fashion.
I enjoy imagining new ideas and creating my own concept through Fashion Sketching and writing. Fashion is unique and has its own allure. It can be really attracting and set the way people look for over decades. For example, Marie Antoinette and Lady Diana for their Fashion sense. They are known to be fashionable, but in different ways. This proves Fashion do make history.
After studying the Fashion Study curriculums, comparing with other majors, familiarized myself with the comprehension about business as I have learnt it in social studies class for 3 years, gaining experience in making Fashion Campaign for a local’s brand and joined 3 months sewing course to sharpening my art skills, I have made my choice in Fashion Marketing.

I am strongly encouraged to learn deeper about Fashion Marketing. Playing a role in Fashion is not only about the designs and the clothes, but it is about how we positioned it. It is also not about how we sell it without basic understanding of the concept of our product. Holding this point of view, Fashion Marketing would be perfect for what I am trying to achieve. It expands my mind to deal with stylish business.
Fashion Marketing sets the art of argumentations and it offers wider explanation between Art and Business. It will help me to answer my curiosity to find out why Fashion world could be so influential and to achieve my goal in expressing my original ideas and concept through my own Fashion line.
*****’s Fashion Marketing curriculums make me excited even more to be able to take part as a student in *****. I am interested with the 10 weeks studying abroad program in Shanghai offered by *****, as it will help me to expand my knowledge about business in another country with different background. And as an International Academy with a lot of students from different cultures, I will have the chance to share my opinions about Fashion with the students. ***** will also prepare me as a well-educated and intellectual Fashion Leader, ready to make history in Fashion.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Yours Faithfully,

(...)