Please help me to check my IELTS Writing. Thanks!

Topic:

Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All levels of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

My writing:

Over the years, the issue of state budget spending on education still remains a subject of debate. While it is commonly argued that individuals should be responsible for their own study cost, I hold the belief that all levels of education are obliged to be subsidised by the government.

To commence with, I intend to express my proposition to clarify why compulsory education including primary, secondary and high schools needs to be freely accessible. First, a policy of universalising education is one of the measures to solve some social problems. In particular, as all children have privilege to attend school, governmental leaders would be no longer concerned about how to reduce illiteracy rate and upgrade intellectual standards. Second, it is education that helps residents achieve better lives. To put it simply, well-educated children with deep thinking would be self-mastered with their future. In fact, in some areas where local people have no chance to get access to formal education, they are just surrounded by famine and poverty.

In addition, it is strongly believed that to guarantee the prosperity of every country, higher education deserves being invested totally by state authorities. Undeniably, the dedicated curricular at academic institutions are supposed to educate students into competent citizens serving for country. Therefore, it is such a regrettable thing if talented people without financial capacity are deprived of this opportunity. Indeed, an equal chance to everybody from different social classes would be highly appreciated as a way to boost the development of all nations.

In conclusion, education is set as a leading priority of every country. Hence, it is irrefutable that all levels of education from primary school to tertiary education should be offer to students without charging any tuition fees.