Please help me to check my essay and give me the point in IELTS Writing Task 2. Thank you very much.

Topic : Progress is always good.

Do you agree or disagree ?

Is progress always good? There is no doubt that advancement in science brings more convenient and high-quality life to human. However, from my perspective, development is not always advantageous due to its adverse effects on environment and people’s relationship.

Initially, progress has a huge environmental impact on Earth. Since the number of factories or vehicles increases, the fumes or smog emitted from them raises which trigger the serious atmospheric pollution. For example, according to the Environmental Protection Agency, motor vehicles collectively cause 75% of carbon monoxide pollution in the US. Besides, it would be unavoidable to dispose all of industrial waste when creating products, so it seems likely that there would be lot of toxic waste remaining in land or water, which is another factor leading to pollution. The potential consequence of this problem is that pollution can lead to green-house gases, which contribute to global warming – one of the biggest threat to organism.

Additionally, the process badly affect the contact among people. As we live in a modern life with various advanced technologies, we could easily be addicted to such things like telephone, video games, television hence we do not have time to talk or share or even chatter with our families s or friends. Furthermore, specially boys, there would be some conflicts or broken relationship among them when they play video games together, which could lead to physical violence or maybe even influence mental’s health.

In conclusion, the progress could bring significant benefits which can be argued. But sometimes, in some ways, it may not be so good because of its negative result in contamination and people’s communication.