Please help me to check my Cam 15 test 1 writing task 1

https://study4.com/tests/1291/cam-ielts-15-writing-test-1/parts/3393/solutions/?fbclid=IwAR0TQuWl2QI66knwhr3sq-2BkE0mAUGF_2-lhZZFxfRgTThGtholzqSsIUM

The bar chart shows the regularity of buying and drinking coffee and tea for dwellers in five cities of Australia in the last four weeks

Overview, coffee or tea in cafe shop served clients was prefered instead of fresh or instant coffee, except Adelaide where drinking instant coffee rate was a bit higher than the other choice

In Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart, the percentages of the residents visting a cafe shop for coffee or tea was highest, make up about 65%. Residents in Brisban liked this habit of drinking coffee and tea mor than the other one, but its figure was quite lower, at over 55%. Though this habit ranked second, the figure of Adelaide was still high at under 50%

As regards the habit of buying coffee and tea, instant coffee was more favourable than fresh coffee in all five cities. The information for the former habit in Brisban, Adelaide and Hobart were outstripped the figures. However, in Sydmey and Melbourne, the differences of the two habits were less noticeable. The percentage of each habit was around 45% in each of those two cities