Please help me revise my recommendation letter

Dear all.

This is my very first post here. My assistant asked me to write a recommendation letter for him. He want to apply to business school in the next month. The university have sent me several questions below.

I want to make a strong recommendation for him. I try to highlight some of his abilities and personal qualities, but I don't want to be sound too cheesy. So, please help me revise something to make it great.

Big thanks.
Jayana

PS: I never write any recom letter before. I will appreciate any feedback.

I have known Brian as my assistant since 2006. Working with this young man is always an example of productive collaboration.

What is prominent of Brian is: adulthood and intelligence. He is still young, but he has mental attitude that surpasses his physical age. I never saw flare up his emotion excessively. Whenever he made a decision, he usually chooses logical and rational one, not based on the emotional consideration.

He has a talent of communicating in an effective and good manner. When he speaks, it likes he is hypnotizing people in front of him. He has good ability to convince other people. He has broad perception, so that whoever he speaks to and whenever he does it, it would last in a good communication. I never doubt his English skill. Whenever we hold a meeting or meet a client from foreign countries, I always assign him because of his English competence which surpasses me. Last time I checked, he also learns French and Spanish.

He is also a good leader. During my supervision, he led a small team for setting up new branch in Kuala Lumpur. His works is very well-planned and effective. He also give a great and satisfying achievement. He is indeed facing many obstacles. But they were usually no problem to him. His other superiority is that he has an ability to make other team members feeling convinced and inspired by him. Team consists of average people would be a great team under his leadership.

If compared with his coworkers, there would no significant difference on him. New person will realize his capability after get to know and interact with him. He would choose to be quiet or passive. However, once he talks or takes initiative, it turns out that what he says and does always be amazing. His brilliant ideas are never cross my mind – but indeed they were brilliant. He reads a lot. He has broad perception. And, I think he has the ability to absorb other people's intelligence by only observing and talking with those people.

However, I don't like the time when his perfectionist syndrome relapses. Sometime he pushes his way towards a perfect project. It is sometimes being too excessive. In my opinion, there is one basic difference between finishing the job in the short time and correct manner and finishing the perfect job in a longer time.

When he meets high officials or famous business leader, he sometimes feels inferior. He mostly keeps quiet and reluctant to show initiatives. I have encouraged him many times, because I know that he has something to be proud of in front of other people. This weakness should not be a big problem to him, though.

Last but not least, in my entire life of business world, I have never met person like Brian. During his assignment, he also shows his ability in handling so many jobs simultaneously. He always finishes his assignment before deadline. He works great, sometimes too great. He is an honest person and full of integrity. He is also full of spirit and motivation. He is quite unique compared to other employees who were motivated only by money – and he is not that kind of guy.

Choosing program ABC should be no problem to him. Conversely, I am so sure that he could give great and significant contribution to his future friends. I strongly support him. In my opinion, XYZ university is best fit for him. In the next 10 years, I'm pretty sure that he will be a successful business leader in the country.