Please help me revise my essay!

Topic: Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

ESSAY

Some people believe that parents who have kids study at private school don’t have to pay taxes that support the state education system. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this point of view.

On the one hand, it is pointless to cut the taxes for people who choose private education. Firstly, sending kids to private school or public school is absolutely families’ choice, not a pressure from government; therefore, those families have no right to pay less or not to pay educational taxes. Secondly, the state receives trivial profit contributed from private school comparing with huge number of money gaining from taxes. For instance, in Viet Nam, the amount of money received from private schools for educational fund is half the number gaining from taxes. Finally, if wealthy families are immune from taxation, poor families have to pay more taxes.

On the other hand, I think that it may lead to some obscure situations if government reduce supporting education taxes for people who pay for private school. Educational budget will significantly decrease if those families don’t have to pay supporting education taxes. Lack of money for education will lead to many bad consequences affecting not only poor families who can’t afford private school but also wealthy ones. For example, there are a number of community education program that cannot be carried out due to be short of funding, which influences all children.

In sum, to my mind, any financial priorities shouldn’t be made for parents of children who attend private school.