Please help me review this IELTS writing task 2

Parents want to achieve balance between Family and career but only a few manage to achieve it. What do you think is the reason? Discuss possible of solutions and provide examples.

My essay:

Parents nowadays are being too preoccupied with their hectic daly grind, which result in the incapability of sustaining the balance between their family and career. There are manifold reasons that lead to this tendency, however it is not impossible to solve the situation by viable remedies.
First, parents' lack of time management skill certainly attributes to the phenomenon. They are tend to be bombarded with deadlines and tasks or work against the clock, therefore, there is no time that can be used for looking after their family. Another main cause to the problem is that parents find difficult to resist the temptation of money and reputation as they tend to leave everything behind in order to chase that position. In the another word, competitive society has made people living in a rat race that is hard to escape.
In order to tackle this problem, parents should
creates the boundaries between work and their families as well as increasing their management skill in terms of time. For instance, procrastination in work must strictly be avoided, starting by working harder in the work hours and finishing it as soon as possible. Parents could also try to lower their standards of living, specifically, aiming for a more obtainable goal that is enough for a fulfilling life.
To conclude, there are variety of different factors that have led to this problem, meanwhile, although as hard as this situation may be, it is still feasible to alleviate the imbalance between two environment if solutions and efforts are being made by parents.
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