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Quốc Nguyễn Tấn Anh Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me review this IELTS Writing Task 1 Essay

Hello teachers and friends! This is my latest attempt for Writing Task1, please review it and point out the mistakes. Thank you so much, hope you have a good day.

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Panama City from 2010 to 2019.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

TASK

The graph compares three kinds of crime in Panama City in terms of number of incidents caused between 2010 and 2019.

Overall, the greatest change occurred in the crime of burglary, which contributed to the decrease in the total number over the 9-year period.

In detail, in 2010, about 7000 cases of incidents were reported to happen on the whole, which dropped to about 5000 in 2019. In 2010, the majority, nearly 50% (almost 3500 cases) was due to burglary, and its peak year was one year later with about 3700 cases. However, the number of burglary began declining significantly and fall to its lowest point at 1000 cases in 2015. After a slight recovery in 2016, the figure hardly changed and stood at around 1400 till 2019. In 2010, car theft accounted for almost 2800 cases of incidents, which was 40% in total. It shared the same downtrend with burglary and reached its bottom which just over 2000 cases in 2013. Despite that, 2014 marked the years when car theft took the first place of burglary, since then it had increased substantially and regained the number of around 2800 in 2019. Over the period, the figure of robbery was flat, about 700 in both 2010 and 2019.

  

Top answer

The graph compares three kinds of crime in Panama City in terms of the number of incidents caused b etween 2010 and 2019. Overall, the greatest change occurred there was a marked decline in the crime number of burgla r ies , but not in the other two categories of crime. [ 1] which contributed to the decrease in the total number over the 9-year period.

  • The graph compares three kinds of crime in Panama City in terms of the number of incidents caused b etween 2010 and 2019.
  • Overall, the greatest change occurred there was a marked decline in the crime number of burgla r ies , but not in the other two categories of crime.
  • [ 1] which contributed to the decrease in the total number over the 9-year period.
  • [ 2] In detail, I n 2010, about [ 3] 7 , 000 cases of [ 4] incidents were reported to happen on the whole, which dropped to about 5 , 000 in 2019.
  • [ 5] In 2010, [ 6] the majority, nearly 50% (almost 3 , 500 cases) of all crimes was were due to burglary, ------------------------------- [ 1]: That is not given.
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1 Answers
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The graph compares three kinds of crime in Panama City in terms of the number of incidents caused between 2010 and 2019.

Overall, the greatest change occurred there was a marked decline in the crime

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