Please help me review this IELTS task 2 essay

Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that academic knowledge gained from university or other institutions cannot solely be the means to people’s success. From my point of view, I totally agree with the aforementioned statement for two main reasons.

Firstly, although academic foundation is necessary, skill is also an unmissable key to success, especially in today's competitive working environment, where a wealth of experience sets people apart. However, this essential element is not seriously taught at academic institutions, and even if it is, it is not as impactful and broad-minded as those gained from people’s own teachable failures or experiences. Besides, some knowledge learned at school is just accurate to some extent, which is proven only by experience. For example, hard-working is usually considered as a must-have quality in order to be successful at school. Yet, when people have worked, some realize that it sometimes has side effects, such as wasting time and efforts if they do not wisely choose a particular object.

Secondly, lessons from universities have proven to be outdated as the world keeps changing rapidly. One of the most affected areas is surely technology where there are continuously new or upgraded machines invented in a short term of time. In order to keep up with current affairs and trends, it requires significant investment in money and people, which is hard to prepare immediately. As a result, academic institutions are no longer to be up-to-date and absolutely useful in this fast-changing society.

In conclusion, academic studying cannot provide all the necessary qualities needed for success for being too theoretical and outdated.