Please help me review this IELTS task 2
Topic: Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Certain people think that free community duties must be introduced in the curriculum of high school students as a mandatory subject. In my opinion, I partially agree that it might have somehow benefits but we can not force our students to do it unvoluntarily.
First of all, it is evident that some free community services are useful extracurricular models to educate students how to be a good citizen. Throughout such activities, students learn about the social responsibility, the happiness when helping and sharing their kindness to more vulnerable individuals. Moreover, this non-profit work also allow our youngsters to improve their soft skills including interpersonal contact, teamworking, project management etc. that are indispensable for every employee after leaving school.
However, we should not organise community services as a compulsory programme. It could engender negative effects because youngsters will perceive a sense of unvoluntariness. They feel as if they are forced to fulfill a task to earn the good remarks at school. Besides, high school students should spend more time on necessary subjects such as science, history, culture and even sports.
In conclusion, doing unpaid community activities is an excellent opportunity to shape a kind personality if educators conduct it as an optional module in high school programmes.
Top answer
Certain people think that free community duties (This is not a natural collocation. You cannot just substitute word-for-word. Most of the time, the result is ugly.
- Certain people think that free community duties (This is not a natural collocation.
- You cannot just substitute word-for-word.
- Most of the time, the result is ugly.
- ) must be introduced in the curriculum of high schools students as a mandatory subject.
- In my opinion, (The verb "agree" is an opinion verb, so the phrase "in my opinion" is redundant.
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Certain people think that free community duties (This is not a natural collocation. You cannot just substitute word-for-word. Most of the time, the result is ugly. ) must be introduced in the curriculum of high schools students as a mandatory subject. In my opinion, (The verb "agr
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