Please help me review this IELTS task 1

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The two bar graphs compares the number of UK students including graduate and postgraduate levels who did not have a full-time job in 2008. There are four categories plotted in the graphs: part-time work, voluntary work, further study, and unemployment.

Overall, most students, regardless of training levels, chose to pursue further education rather than go to work. The remaining students were able to find part-time jobs but there were still a considerable number being unemployed after leaving schools.

Apart from the total number of students in graduate level which was 10 times larger than that of postgraduate group, the proportion of students who continued to study made up the largest part in two groups (nearly 50%). However, unemployment rate remained rather high with approximately 20% of total students in each group. Postgraduate students were more likely to find a part-time work than students who just finished undergraduate programmes. Meanwhile, voluntary work was the least choice for both types of students which stood at about 5% of each group.