Please help me review this IELTS task 1

Question

-----------------------------------The two maps show the change of an island's landscape after being built some recreational facilities compared to the original shape. Before the construction, the ellipsoidal island looks like a deserted field with some coconut trees planted at the two corners. There is a remote beach at the left tip of the island where people can swim. After the construction, this beach is arranged to become a common swimming area for visitors. In the middle of the island, a reception house was built at the centre. It is surrounded by a vehicle track connecting to a new restaurant in the northern coast and a pier in the south where cruises and canoes can settle down to transport tourists to the island. The largest space on the island was reclaimed to create two groups of several bungalows: one near the beach and other in the island east. Tourists who stay there can use the footpaths to travel throughout any places on the island.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The two maps show the change of an island's landscape (wrong word) after being built some recreational facilities (ungrammatical word order) compared to the original shape. (wrong word. The shape of the island did not change.)

B

Before the construction, the ellipsoidal (not a good word) island looks like a deserted field with some coconut trees planted at the two corners. (They were likely wild trees, not planted. Corner is not a good word.) There is a remote beach at the left (Use compass directions) tip of the island where people can swim. After the construction, this beach is arranged to become a common swimming area for visitors. In the middle of the island, a reception house was built at the centre. (repetitive) It is surrounded by a vehicle track connecting to a ~~new~~ restaurant in the northern coast and a pier in the south where cruises (cruise ships) and canoes (Canoes are not commonly used as transport ships.) can settle down (wrong word) to transport tourists to the island.

The largest space on the island was reclaimed (wrong word) to create two groups of ~~several~~ bungalows: one near the beach and other in the island east. (ungrammatical word order) Tourists who stay there can use the footpaths to travel throughout ~~any places on~~ the island.

Your essay is not logically organized. Each paragraph needs to have one clear topic.

Here is a suggested outline:

Paragraph 1: Describe the figure, that is the two maps before and after development.
Paragraph 2: Describe the first map. Use the scale provided.
Paragraph 3: Describe the second map and all the changes.

Example essay:

The first map shows an uninhabited small low-lying island about 230 meters long (east-west) by 50 to 80 meters wide (north-south). The second map shows the island after its development.

The undeveloped island has a small beach on the western end, and a site suitable for a pier on the south side. There are a few palm trees growing, but otherwise, the island is empty.

After development, many visitor facilities can be seen. There is a pier for small boats to dock and discharge passengers and supplies. The reception building is about twenty meters from the pier, and behind it, perhaps ten meters, a restaurant. To the east and west of the reception, there are accommodations, in the form of huts. The east section has nine huts, and the west has five. Footpaths are laid out between all the huts, the beach, the restaurant and reception, and a circular vehicular track goes around the reception building, allowing access to the pier and restaurant. Visitors can swim in the sea off the beach, which is convenient to the western huts. The eastern end of the island, about a third of the island's area, has not been developed.

Please help me review this IELTS task 1

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