Please help me review this Ielts part 2 writing. Thank you!

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion

We are human beings in this world who have always expected beneficial environments to happen with us. However, although we can manipulate many situations, we sometimes cannot manage all of them. In case of adverse situations like job dissatisfaction or money shortage, how would we choose to face them? While some people think accepting them is the best, others believe that it is better to make efforts to overcome and make necessary improvements. I tend to think that it depends on the kinds of factors which accompany with the adversities existing in order to choose to adopt or not.

With objective factors like natural disasters or pandemics, we have no choice but to accept. Take the ongoing pandemic an example, these days, it has horrendously affected the worldwide economy, resulting in a considerable unemployment rate. Consequently, there are not many job opportunities for us to choose from. It forces us to except whatever is available even the one we dislike to make ends meet. For example, industrial employees have to live and work in the companies being far away from their family to earn some money during this depressing situation. Moreover, we come to compromise with a life with just little money during this recession, as a result.

On the other hand, regarding subjective factors, people have a tendency to alleviate undesirable situations. Job dissatisfaction may stem from uninviting working environments such as shortage of latest technology or obsolete machines or a workplace which is small and as crowded as a can of sardine. Or, it can be a workplace in which colleagues were not friendly and helpful to create a win-win situation and payment is just a peanut. However, those problems can be fixed and mended properly if we make a request to the company and project some innovative solutions and suitable endeavours so that it will invest money in purchasing new devices for facilitating work, enlarging the work space, and holding events or occasions which create teambuilding and solidarity among employees and boost the spirit of the company. Also, when conditions are improved, we work more efficiently and productively; in turn, it enhances the company’ s surpluses. As a fruitful result, we will be offered more incentives.

To conclude, I think we need to take elements coexisting with the adverse circumstances into consideration to accept or deny them. With factors which are not in our control, it is worthless striving for, but if the ones are within our abilities, we need to overcome them at the expense of time and endeavor.