Please help me review my Writing task 2. Thank you

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Has this become a positive or negative development?

My essay:

Accompanying with the modernisation of technology, many advanced method have been conducted in order to accomodate people's needs. Regarding with communication, innovative technology have changed the way people's interaction between each other. This leads to many virtual relationships are built, which is a two-facet development but its drawbacks are becoming more dominant.

First, by taking the changes in how people interact into consideration, it is clear that there is a significant reduction of direct conversation among them. Communicative platforms such as Facebook and Twitter allow users to interact and establish relationships despite hindrance in geological locations, which bring a sense of convenience as there is no need to evolve moving. Because of that, facing discussion is no longer the only option tu communicate and sustain relationships.

Although as benfical as it may be, the adjustment still causes many dramatic consequences. One of those is that when making friendships on the virtual environment, people might have the risk to suffer from cyber scams. For instance, many girls have fallen in a trap that makes them believe in online boyfriends without knowing their actual identities. It could be resulted in fake money transfering, personal information revealing or even worse, kidnapping. In addition, online communication can give rise to the tendency of leading a sedentary lifestyle, especially among adolescents. Not only affecting the health condition, their ability to produce lengthy talk will be degraded.

To conclude, development in technologu has certainly made a lot of influences to people's communication, however, it is suggested that the drawbacks of this phenonmenon can be considered as an alarming issue./data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/clipdata/clipdata_200828_153035_558.sdoc->