Please help me review my writing task 1
The line graph gives information about the numbers of books read by both genders at Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2014.
As can be seen from the graph, there were different trends in men and women. In 2011, there were around 3000 books read by men, while the number of books read by women was higher, 5000 books. In 2012, there were slight rises in both men and women’s figures. Women's went up to 8000, while men's only hitted at around 4000 books.
In the year of 2013, the number of books read by women hitted its highest point at 10000, and the number of books read by men also increased so much, from around 4000 books to 10000 books. The figure for books read by men peaked at 14000 in 2014, while women's figure fell from 10000 books to 8000 books, nowhere near as high as men's figure.
Top answer
The line graph plots gives information about (That is vague. ) the numbers of books read by men compared to the number read by women both genders at Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2014. (The second paragraph needs to have the main features, without detailing the numbers.
- The line graph plots gives information about (That is vague.
- ) the numbers of books read by men compared to the number read by women both genders at Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2014.
- (The second paragraph needs to have the main features, without detailing the numbers.
- You will not get a good score if you do not clearly give the most important observations.
- Your essay has a lot or repetition.
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The line graph plots gives information about (That is vague. Tell the reader exactly what is on this graph.) the numbers of books read by men compared to the number read by women both genders at Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2014.
(The second paragraph needs to
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