Please help me review my task 2 IELTS

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It argues that people’s success is attributable to luck instead of hard-working or determination. In my opinion, I definitely disagree with this idea.

On the one hand, people who achieve the success in their career usually know as an industrious and determined person. For instance, one of the billionaires in the world, Steve Jobs, who make Apple become a huge successful company. To achieve this succeed, he had been constantly coding and working hardly in many years, suffered from the failure in many times. And if Steve Jobs is a good example for people working hard to achieve the succeed, Nick Vujicic will a represented person who can overcome adversity to achieve their aim. Nick is a disabilities person who haven’t arm or leg. But through his effort, he has gain degrees of university and now he travels the world to inspiring his example to encourage the person who has the similar condition.

On the other hand, by contrast, the luck is only a small factor in the success of people. I think that the determined and hard-working is a main factor in the success. For instance, when student hope to be lucky in the exams and do not study anything, he or she will be probably fail in the test. And they will not receive anything from the school. Someone may be luckily occasionally, but if they rely on luck in the whole life, they will be disappointed in one-day because the lucky will not be always with them to the rest of their life.

In conclusion, due to the strongly reason that I have mentioned above, I believe that the only way to achieve success is the industrial and determination. The lucky is just a small thing in the way to success.