Please help me review my task 2

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In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?Nowadays, there has been an increasing number of communities delving into the past of their accommodations. I believe they research this for two main reasons, perhaps the sense of religion, or the safety security of the residential area. For help with finding answers, they should turn to the seniors in these neighborhoods and browse online.First, the most obvious factor driving the trend of tracing the history of buildings is a connection with their religious viewpoint. Knowing the original purposes and previous stories behind the houses will help them decide whether to live or not. For example, residents avoid buying the house haunted by a spirit if there is an old cemetery built there or painful memories of sexual coercion. Second, safety in the neighborhood is one of the contributors to research on housing backgrounds. To exemplify this, there are some conditions that create insecurity such as crime and break-ins that many residents have been exposed to. It is necessary that they know where to go if they have problems, at least when it comes to problems with the house.In terms of the approach to find out more data about the building, the best way is to ask the elderly living there for ages. Not only have they witnessed the people coming and going but they have seen the modifications of the accommodation. As a result, talking to them make newcomers uncover secrets or intriguing stories behind the houses. Moreover, the Internet is a good possible source of information on the history of the house. The city council's website or documents in the local library have relevant background information.In conclusion, a desire to seek a connection with religious opinion and a sense of security in accommodation are two possible reasons why people investigate the history of their homes. To find answers, they should ask the old people in their neighborhood or learn on the Internet for help.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Your essay, 320 words, is too long. Aim for 270-290 for IELTS Task 2.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Nowadays, there has been an increasing number of individuals who are interested in ~~communities~~ delving into the past of their houses. ~~accommodations~~. (Accommodation can be a hotel, dormitory, boarding house or rented flat.) I believe they research this for two main reasons, perhaps ~~the sense of~~ their religion, or the ~~safety~~ security of the residential area. For help with finding answers, they should turn to the seniors in these neighborhoods and browse online.

First, the most obvious factor driving the desire to trace ~~trend of~~ ~~tracing~~ the history of buildings is a connection with their religious viewpoint. Knowing the original purposes and previous stories behind the houses will help them decide whether to live or not. (Will they kill themselves?) For example, residents avoid buying the house (In the topic, it is stated that they are already living there, not making a decision to purchase.) haunted by a spirit if there is an old cemetery built there or painful memories of sexual coercion. (I don't understand this point. Who coerces a house?) Second, safety in the neighborhood is one of the contributors (wrong word. A contributor is a person.) to do research on one's home. ~~housing backgrounds~~. To exemplify this, there are some conditions that create insecurity such as crime and break-ins that many residents (The person doing the research is a resident. Wouldn't they be aware of this already? Besides, the topic is research about the house that they are living in, not the neighborhood. ) have been exposed to. It is necessary that they know where to go if they have problems, at least when it comes to problems with the house. (I do not understand your argument.)

In terms of the approach to find out more ~~data~~ about the building, the best way is to ask the people who have lived in the area for a long time. ~~elderly living there for ages.~~ Not only have they witnessed the people coming and going but they have seen the changes or improvements done in the past. ~~modifications of the accommodation.~~ As a result, talking to them make newcomers uncover secrets (I don't understand this) or intriguing stories behind the houses. Moreover, the Internet is a good possible source of information on the history of the house. The city council's website or documents in the local library have relevant background information.

In conclusion, a desire to seek a connection with religious opinion That does not make sense.) and a sense of security ~~in accommodation~~ are two possible reasons why people investigate the history of their homes. To find answers, they should ask the old people in their neighborhood or ~~learn~~ look at relevant websites on the Internet for help.

You had a long essay, and strayed off-topic. Write a shorter essay that is focused exactly on the topic. e.g. A family has been living in a house for five or ten years and becomes curious about its history....

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay:

In many European countries, houses can be hundreds of years old. As people buy these older houses to live in, many become curious about its history. Fortunately, there are quite a few resources available to the homeowner.

Many people these days are nostalgic about the past. They get their DNA tested to find out about their own distant ancestors and their family history. Thus, it is not surprising when they are just as intrigued about the place where they live. In fact, they may want to develop a personal connection to the nation's history, so they purposefully choose an old house to buy and fix up. The more rich the history of a house is, the more attractive it is to buyers. Perhaps the house was used as the headquarters of an army, or an ancient battle was fought nearby. Maybe a famous author, poet, or political figure was born there. Living in a national monument can give people pride, pleasure and stories to tell their children.

The first source of information is the neighbors, especially those whose families have lived in the area for generations. Talking with them about their family stories can reveal interesting leads to follow. The next source is the local church. It will have records of births and deaths and also a cemetery with headstones. There you can discover names of people, their family connections, when they were born and when they died. History books and national archives may also give general information about the events that took place in or near the house.

In conclusion, researching their house's history is a pastime that more people are engaging in. This hobby can lead not only to them getting to know the neighbors, but to being an integral part of a community.

Please help me review my task 2

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