Please help me review my IELTS writing task 2.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.

What factors contribute to job satisfaction?

How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

My essay:

It is argued the majority of people’s time when they are mature is for their job, so job satisfaction plays an important role in individual wellbeing. The working environment is a crucial factor that makes a contribution to job satisfaction and employee’s expectation of it hardly achieves.

To begin with, it is essential that the working environment make a big contribution to employee’s job satisfaction. Working environment includes various elements such as working condition, colleagues, and the way employers manage their employees. People who work in a bad environment where co-workers do not support each other or where working condition is unhealthy do not have motivation to try their best in tasks, which has a bad effect on business result. However, if they work in a ideal workplace where they feel comfortable and happy, they would make more efforts to complete their jobs in the best way.

In fact, the expectation of job satisfaction for all employees is rarely completed. Most of people work for making a living, so money is a main purpose for them. Therefore, they often do well-paid jobs that they may not be have a passion even they accept to work in a toxic condition where their health become worse. In most chemical industries, for example, they never lack workers because they pay a high salary with a lot of attractive benefits.

In conclusion, job satisfaction is very crucial in personal wellbeing because most of time in people’s life spends working. Working environment plays an important part in job satisfaction, but in the real life, people rarely completely satisfy about their job.