Please help me review my IELTS essay

The table compares the underground railway system in six cities in terms of the opening date, kilometres of route and annual numbers of passengers. Overall, London boasted the oldest railway station and the largest proportion of route, while Tokyo recorded the highest number of travellers per year.

As is observed from the data, London initiated its subway system the earliest in 1863, as well as built the longest rail route of 394 kilometres. However Pari ‘s number of annual subway travellers far exceeded London. It is also noticable that Tokyo, which established its rail system later and registered a lower number of kilometres than Paris and London, dominated the category of annual passengers. Tokyo’s stations welcomed a staggering 1927 million people per year, approximately twice as many as London.

Looking closer at the three remaining countries, Washington D.C was the fourth city to launch its rail system, recording a moderate number of 126 kilometres of route and 144 million annual travellers. Kyoto and Los Angles were the latest to establish their underground systems. Despite opening 20 years earlier, Kyoto had fewer kilometres of routes and annual pasengers compared to Los Angeles.

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