Please help me review my IELTS essay

In the modern world, people are no longer necessary to use food from animals or product from animals such as medicine and clothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, some people have argued that the use of food and products from animal is unnecessary in the modern world. Although some animal-based products, such as medicine and clothing, are no longer in demand for some purposes, food from them is still essential for humankind.

There are two key reasons why animal-based products are becoming unnecesssary. First, thanks to the development in medical sciences, almost all diseases, even these that have killed millions of individuals, are eradicated completely with low costs and safety. As a result, conventional treatments using parts of animals has become obsolete and are not acceptable widely due to its uncertainty and risks involved. Second, since amount of animal-based materials used for production apparels is very low, this does not meet the increasing demands for clothing worldwide. For example, a farmer who raises a large number of sheep could only be able to make enough wool to produce clothes for himself or herself.

However, animal-based food is still considered important in the modern world for a variety of reasons. One of those reasons is that food from animals provides more options to choose. In fact, if people did not eat meat, they might become bored due to having to eat plant-based meals on daily basis. In addtion, meat of animals, such as pigs and chickens, is still an irreplaceable source of food in both developed and developing countries. For example, these types of meat offer a wide range of essential nutrions, especially protein, that help our bodies function properly and provide enough energy.

In conclusion, while animal-based medicine and clothing are unnecessary anymore, food from animals still plays a vital role in the modern world.