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Pen pen 106 Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me review my essay

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discus both these views and give your own opinion.

It is believed that well-known sport players have been paid with an incredibly high salary because of the high pressure on their shoulders and the higher possibilities of suffering from serious trauma or injuries. However, I am strongly convinced that there are more important fields adding more value to life such as doctors and nurses.

On the one hand, proponents support the high salary for the top sports people as players must take more responsibilities in achieving successful results as a national representative. They dealt with depression brought about by the low points of their career ladder. If they couldn’t gain the goals or prizes for nation, they will be likely to be threatened with the sack. Secondly, elite people in sports have easily experienced traumatic events while playing or training. To illustrate, footballers are very susceptible to concussions while the heat injuries are a major concern for the goal keepers. Consequently, they deserve to receive the high income rather than other fields.

On the other hand, I do believe that people who devote their life and effort to the health system should be paid more. Brave doctors and nurses go where deadly disease is and are not afraid to help save the sick. A good illustration is that during the Covid -19 pandemic, most doctors, and nurses volunteer to participate in the anti-pandemic campaign. They sacrifice their time and work tirelessly in both day and night to save thousands of positively Covid-19 victims. Sadly, there have been number of doctors losing their lives in this catastrophic pandemic. While the annual salary of a doctor is clearly less than the single match fee of footballers. Consequently, they should be paid with higher remuneration.

In conclusion, I believe a huge gap in the salaries of sportsmen and other professionals is unfair. As a result, government should implement policies to tackle this issue.

  

Top answer

It is believed that (Avoid these passive-voice dummy-it clauses. ) W ell-known sport players have been are paid with an incredibly high salary in comparison with successful people in other occupations. because of the high pressure on their shoulders and the higher possibilities of suffering from serious trauma or injuries .

  • It is believed that (Avoid these passive-voice dummy-it clauses.
  • ) W ell-known sport players have been are paid with an incredibly high salary in comparison with successful people in other occupations.
  • because of the high pressure on their shoulders and the higher possibilities of suffering from serious trauma or injuries .
  • (The reason is not given in the task instructions) However, I am strongly convinced that there are more important fields (That is off-topic.
  • The task is to compare the earnings of professional athletes with others.
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1 Answers
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It is believed that (Avoid these passive-voice dummy-it clauses. They add nothing to the essay.) Well-known sport players have been are paid with an incredibly high salary in comparison with successful people in other occupations.

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