Please help me review my essay

Question

In recent years, the pressure of students on school and university is increasing. They are pushed to work hard at young age. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?In contemporary life, that students are persuaded to put too much effort from early years has become a publicly recognized phenomenon. While forcing learners at young age may donate benefits in some ways, it still does more harm to physical and mental health of students.  The sooner students are pushed at school or university, the more likely it is that they are exposed to health problems. Sitting at desk in a long time can result in a sedentary lifestyle and a reluctance to take regular exercise, which will result in students’ being prone to obesity. In addition, putting too much emphasis on learning also makes students more vulnerable to other health issues such as eyesight deterioration, backache and even eating disorders because of unhealthy eating habits when they are unaware of study hours. Therefore, being pushed too hard to learn from young age is in some ways detrimental to physical health. Along with learners’ bodies, their mental health also suffers from pressure in early years. People paying excessive attention to studying show a higher propensity for excluding themselves from society, avoiding human contact. This will be definitely adverse to their emotional development. For example, if a child is forced to study in early formative years, he will lose chances to play and experience childhood. Therefore, studying at young age against one’s will can result in a devoid of practical experiences and chances to sharpen one’s personality traits which will definitely shape the future road.  In conclusion, although learning in early years may bring some benefits in terms of knowledge, this still should be avoided to prevent potential problems.  Thank you so much for helping me correct my essay!

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

In recent years, the pressure of students on school and university is increasing. They are pushed to work hard at young age. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?

In contemporary life, that students are persuaded (wrong word) to put too much effort (where?) from (missing word) early years has become a publicly recognized phenomenon. While forcing learners at young age may donate (wrong word) benefits in some ways, it still does more harm to (missing word) physical and mental health of students.

(You first must present a good argument that this is actually happening, and how extreme it is. In your experience, are students asked to do too much schoolwork and study too long? Why? Who pressures them, and at what ages? Do you or your school mates suffer from the physical and mental health problems that you mention? Do you know some obese students with backaches and bad eyesight? Is their condition due to pressures at school?)

The sooner students are pushed at school or university, (??) the more likely it is that they are exposed to health problems. Sitting at (missing word) desk in a long time can result in a sedentary lifestyle and a reluctance to take regular exercise, which will result in students’ being prone to obesity. In addition, putting too much emphasis on learning also makes students more vulnerable to other health issues such as eyesight deterioration, backache and even eating disorders because of unhealthy eating habits when they are unaware of study hours. Therefore, being pushed too hard to learn from young age is in some ways detrimental to physical health.

Along with learners’ bodies, their mental health also suffers from pressure in early years. People paying excessive attention to studying show a higher propensity for excluding themselves from society, avoiding human contact. This will be definitely adverse to their emotional development. For example, if a child is forced to study in early formative years, he will lose chances to play and experience childhood. Therefore, studying at young age against one’s will can result in a devoid of practical experiences and chances to sharpen one’s personality traits which will definitely shape the future road.

In conclusion, although learning in early years may bring some benefits in terms of knowledge, this still should be avoided to prevent potential problems.

Towel chalk 215 · Answer

In contemporary life, it has become a publicly recognized phenomenon that students are pressured to put too much effort into study from their early years. While forcing learners to study from a young age may confer some benefits, on balance it is harmful to their physical and mental health.

The earlier students are pushed at school, the more likely they are to be exposed to health proble

The earlier students are pushed at school, the more likely they are to be exposed to health problems. Sitting at a desk for a long time can result in a sedentary lifestyle and a reluctance to take regular exercise, making students prone to obesity. In addition, an overemphasis on learning makes students more vulnerable to other health issues such as poor eyesight, backache and even eating disorders due to unhealthy eating habits while they are engrossed in study. Therefore, being pushed too hard to learn from a young age can be detrimental to the student's physical health.

Students' mental health also suffers from pressure in the early years. People who pay excessive attention to their studies are more likely to exclude themselves from society and avoid human contact, to the detriment of their emotional development. For example, a child forced to study in his or her early formative years will lose the chance to play and experience childhood. Studying at a young age against one’s will denies the student practical experience and the opportunity to develop personality traits that will shape his or her future.

In conclusion, although a heavy emphasis on learning in early years may bring some benefits in terms of knowledge, these are more than outweighed by potential problems.

Please help me review my essay

In recent years, the pressure of students on school and university is increasing. They are pushed to work hard at young age. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions