Please help me refine and give some comments on my task 2 essay. Thank you so much.

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is true that the idea of whether schools should reward students with their excellent results or students who demonstrated great determination and improvements remains a source of controversy. While some people think students with outstanding grades should be the one who deserved to receive a reward, I would argue that schools should pray some students making great progress during their learning process.

On the one hand, there are a wide range of reasons why students who show the best academic results should be awarded. First, this approach can provoke highly competitive studying environment among students, which can also arouse desire and interest to win prizes from students. As a positive consequence, students would be actively encouraged to attach more significance in learning by concentrating more efforts on their work. Second, by adopting this rewarding policy, gifted students with high performances could have more opportunities to nurture their ability. In my high school, for instance, students who won top places in national competition for gifted students, are often awarded invaluable prizes as an mobilization for their successful achievement.

On the other hand, I think giving encouragement for students who made great strides in their study will result in more favorable outcomes. The first advantage could obviously be that opportunities are given equally to every students rather than only most special ones. As a result, it can deter average students from suffering the comparison with gifted students and also motivate those students to make progress to gain the prizes. Moreover, this form of recognition follows the holistic principle of knowledge, which emphasizes the need for broadening and widening knowledge, not just for gaining high scores. Consequently, some phenomena which emerge when examinations approach, including pressure, cheating and anxiety, would be reduced gradually.

In conclusion, although rewarding excellent students with highest scores is advantageous to some certain extent, it seems to me that it is better to encourage students who are able to enhance their study performances through great efforts and determination.