Please help me proofread this

Question

Welcome to today's event, ____ School's 45th Anniversary celebration: "Event title"

Since opening its doors to welcome English students in 1970, __School has continued to enhance interest and communications in English for 45 years in ____,____. We feel the outmost thanks to our community and to our students, whom without their great kindness and warm support, we would not be able to continue this legacy.

To show our appreciation, we have decided to hold this event for you. Today's two guests, Mr. ___ and Mr. ____, are well-known all over Japan and have been introduced in ONE WORLD, an English textbook used in public junior high schools in Japan.

Through Mr.___ and Mr. ______'s lectures, we hope you can feel your knowledge of the world expanding in English as well as the joy of being connected to the world through it.

We are ecstatic that more and more interest in English has started to take hold in everyone's minds and hearts.

Thank you so much for the support you have given us so far, and we hope you will support us in the future as well.

Deadrat · Accepted Answer

I think you've got a major problem here. If you're going to advertise your school to prospective students of English, your own English must be perfect. I say this not to disparage your command of the English language which is far better than my Japanese, but to save you from being the object of some unwanted jests. What would you think of a car that had obviously been in an accident and had "A-1 Driving School" emblazoned on its doors?

Here are some points to consider:

"Since" clashes with "has continued" and makes 45 years redundant.
"Enhance interest and communications" is slightly odd, since "enhancing interest" has to mean increasing interest and "enhancing communications" has to mean "improving communications." It's not wrong, but the two connotations interfere with each other slightly. In any case, isn't your school's real mission to teach students to become fluent in conversational English and written English of various kinds?
"Outmost" means farthest away. You mean "utmost," i.e., the highest. I realize that I live in a society of unwarranted informality and reflexive rudeness, which makes this kind of hyperbole odd to me, but you might want to tone this down a bit. I would reserve my utmost gratitude to someone who saves my life.
"whom without their great kindness" is wrong: "without whose kindness."
A legacy is an inheritance, something you get once, so continuing one is a bit odd. I think I take your meaning: you want to honor the tradition of continuous community support. Or perhaps you mean to continue in the footsteps of the founders in providing excellent instruction in English. In either case, I'd rephrase.
The guests' book should be One World, initial caps and in italics. Are the guests the authors? If so, I doubt they, themselves are introduced in the book. Do you mean they introduced the book in Japanese public schools? Or do you mean that through their highly-visible authorship, they became known throughout Japan?
I don't know what it means to feel knowledge expanding, and feeling joy here isn't quite right. I think you mean "The lectures will expand your perspectives and let you enjoy connections to the English-speaking world." But I'm not sure.
"Ecstatic" is too strong here. It literally means transported mentally outside yourself. Try something a little less intense and more informal. Perhaps "thrilled." And connect the increased interest to the School. "We have noticed that people are increasingly interested in learning English, and we are thrilled at School to have been part of this phenomenon."
Your closing is clunky: "Thank you for the support you have given us so far, and we hope our partnership will continue."

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Here are some suggestions:

Welcome to today's event, ____ School's 45th Anniversary celebration: "Event title"

Since opening its doors to welcome English students in 1970, _School has continually promoted interest and excellence in English in ____,___. We give the utmost thanks to our community and to our students, who, without their great kindness and warm support, we would not be able to continue this tradition.

To show our appreciation for these 45 successful years of operation, we decided to hold this event for you. Today's two guests, Mr. __ and Mr. ___, are well known all over Japan and have been introduced in ONE WORLD, an English textbook used in public junior high schools in Japan.

Through Mr.__ and Mr. _____'s lectures, we hope you can expand your knowledge of the English-speaking world as well as feel the joy of being connected to it.

We are ecstatic that a keen interest in English has started to take hold in everyone's minds and hearts.

Thank you so much for the support you have given us so far, and we trust you will support us in the future as well.

Please help me proofread this

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