Please help me proofread my college essay!

This is my essay for a university. The topic is a personal essay. Please help me proofread it. Thank you.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?,” our teacher asked my class of sixth-graders, one by one. "A teacher! A doctor! A dancer!" were the immediate and enthusiastic responses from the girls. Meanwhile, my mind was racing, “What do I want to be?” When my name was called, flashes of memories came to my mind. The first was when I was helping my father to replace the light bulbs in our house. I recalled my extreme excitement and curiosity about how everything worked. The second was a scene of taking the batteries out of my toys to examine how they were connected and what they did. I had dreamed of being an inventor like Edison. After these flashbacks, I stood up and said “An engineer!” After a short pause, my classmates laughed in surprise and disbelief.

In XXXX, most of the women pursue careers in medicine, education, or marry into money and become a housewife. The tenacious and persistent stereotypes that engineering programs are not “suitable” for females influence the career decisions XXXX women make. It is a reality that people’s dreams and career aspirations are governed by social and cultural barriers. In my country, engineering is considered a masculine profession, so only 16-20% of students in engineering programs are women. The idea that it is “too difficult” for women is extremely common in XXXX. Young girls do not even consider the STEM fields when choosing a prospective profession due to gender stereotypes. For this reason, many do not think about continuing their education after high school. Another reason is the lack of support from parents and school, also the absence of female role models in the STEM field does not give incentive to the younger female generation. As an XXXX young woman, I aspire to be an example to all the girls in my country and other developing countries by pursuing a career in a STEM-related field. Through my example, I would like to represent that STEM is not gender-specific and encourage more women to enroll in engineering programs as well as other STEM-based majors.

My mother tongue is XXXX and I grew up learning Russian and English. My family always said, “The more languages you know, the more opportunities you will have”. This phrase captivated my attention and after living in the U.S., receiving education entirely in English for a whole academic year, I developed an interest in different cultures and languages. I decided to learn German and Chinese. Living in the U.S.A. not only made me fluent in English, but I also fell in love with the American culture, education system, and how Americans accept and celebrate differences and diversity regardless of a person’s gender and social status.

I am strongly dedicated to bringing diversity to XXXX University. I would be very delighted to volunteer and participate in language exchange clubs, social gatherings and to represent my country, XXXX language, cuisine, costume, and everything related to my country. I want to learn and share my knowledge and help my community by inspiring all the young girls out there who may be reluctant to pursue their dreams in STEM-related fields. I believe that the next Lillian Gilbreth or Edith Clarke, who inspired me to pursue STEM fields, can be discovered in XXXX and I aspire to be the one.